Yellow & Tiny Type 14.5

We’re not giving this Pipe Down because we think making a ton of money off snowboarding is lame-far from it. We’re running it because manipulating and strong-arming people strictly for monetary purposes and pretending you care about their sport is indeed very lame.

The topic of who’s going to be on the U.S. Olympic Snowboard Team and how they can qualify to do so is ridiculously confusing. Why are ski organizations deciding who should be on the U.S. Olympic Snowboard Team? Didn’t the media expose the corruption of the Olympic Committee? Do you think any of this shadiness has trickled down to organizations like the FIS and the USSA? Let’s not forget, the Olympics and both organizations have been in bed for years. How did the FIS and USSA become the governing bodies of snowboarding. Hell, only one of these organizations even has the word snowboarding in its name. Where were they for the first twenty years of our sport? Sure, there may be one or two legit people in these organizations who truly care about the athletes and maybe even snowboarding, but as Cool Hand Luke so eloquently stated, “Calling it your job, don’t make it right.”

You’d think picking an Olympic team would be easy: you take the very best. But when it comes to the FIS and USSA, the choice is much more difficult due to the millions of sponsorship dollars that will benefit skiers. Names: FIS (French organization whose name translates to International Ski Federation) and USSA (United States Ski and Snowboard Association-since they only recently included the word snowboard, maybe they should add another S).Age: 95 years of skiing.

Sponsors: CafÇ de Colombia, Budrerus, Ruhrugas, Rauch, Warsteiner, Suzuki, Nokia, Grundig, D2 Privat, Ernst & Young, Chevy Trucks, Sprint, Kodak, Charles Schawb, United Airlines, Visa, Bank of America, Texaco, Gateway, Budweiser, Yahoo Sports, Bud Light, General Mills. Hmm, where are all the snowboard companies?

TransWorld Office M.O.: Both are ski organizations that at one time or another refused to recognize snowboarding and even tried to have it banned. To make even more money, they require the athletes to wear the uniforms of the organization’s sponsors, not allowing the athletes to decide which companies they want to represent. Since when do snowboarders wear uniforms? As if you weren’t already wary of these ski companies, they broke the legal eighteen-point agreement with the snowboarding industry before the ’98 Olympics. Yet they continue to force snowboarders to compete on their lame-ass “We’re In It For The Money” tour this year in order to qualify for the 2001 Olympics. Oh yeah, they drug test the athletes but not the staff or administration.Overheard saying: Nothing, you must be a member of the FIS or on the USSA’s team in order to be informed of anything.Recommendation: Take back your uniforms and stick to skiing, you jocks!