The Illuminati Names Three New Teamriders

The highest ranking members of The Illuminati have decided to allow the public announcement of three new riders who have climbed the ranks of the Illuminati heirarchy to the status of Rex Deus.

Charles Turquie, Keenan Rice, and John Makens are three bad kids who all met each other in Steamboat Springs, Colorado. Charles from Jackson Hole, Wyoming attends the Whiteman school in Steamboat Springs, and would have killed the AM nationals in Mammoth had he not broken his clavical and dislocated his shoulder in a nasty fall. John Makens graduated from Whiteman a year ago and now lives in Salt Lake City, Utah. He just bought a New WRX and can be seen passing you on the interstate. Keenan Rice a Steamboat local, now lives in Mammoth, California with fellow bad ass Jackson Hole boy Travis Rice. The Rices are known to “keep it real”, “Col’ lamp”, “recognize” and “Jus’ chill”. The Illuminati searched far and wide for snowboarders who represent their way of thinking and acting in social atmoshperes on and off the mountain.

When asked to perform the Rites of Osiris intitiation ritual the three accepted the heavy responsibilities of joining such a clandestine organization as the Ancient order of the Illuminated Seers. (The Illuminati) If you never hear of any of these people again, it is because certain members within the organization did not want you to. “Joining a society of shredders as deep and powerful as the illuminati can be a scary thing, that’s all I can really say about this.” said Charles Turquie when first asked about his affilliation to the group. Nic Drago said, “Our initiation was not quite as intense as theirs. Both Keenan and Charles ended up with broken body parts during the process.” When asked about the addition of new riders, presiding member of the snowboarding division Lance Pitman said “The highest ranking members… the ones who’s faces and names will never be known, have asked me to initiate these three in particular.”

There are many other Illuminati members roaming the mountains in North America. Many of them are wondering why it wasn’t them that was chosen to be initiated. To them the message is this: People of power work under their own set of rules. They have reasons for what they do that most common people will never understand. We “The Illuminati Snowboard Division” are just an extension of the people with the real power. We have no say in what happens, we do as we are told. We are learning the Path.