The Da White Code

The Da White Code
The 2006 Honda Session-Another Chapter In The Shaun White Book Of Dominance
By Jennifer Sherowski

You know how they say, “The numbers don’t lie”? Well, late one night as I poured over this story by candlelight, painstakingly fact-checking every last detail until I fell asleep with my forehead on my keyboard, I uncovered a series of numbers having to do with the 2006 Honda Session held in Vail, Colorado that-if decoded properly-clearly point to an ominous truth that shapes the very foundation of our reality as humans in the world.
Okay, so the numbers-I can’t give you all of them, it’s dangerous enough telling you these few, but here goes: 39,500 (the amount in dollars that Shaun White took away from the weekend), 3,960 (the number of degrees he rotated in his winning slopestyle run), 5 (the number of Honda Session titles under White’s belt while still a teenager), et cetera, et cetera. Yeah, they all add up to one thing. Can you guess what it is?
Anyway, plenty of other things happened at this year’s Session besides Shaun White, and although we’re on a need-to-know basis here, I’m prepared to debrief you on this. First of all, the Rail Jam-held under the lights in the cold Colorado night, complete with flaming fireball explosions and money being awarded every fifteen minutes, with an additional chunk of change handed out for the Malay Factor Best Trick Award.
Now, no one can deny the sickness of Colorado’s own Pat Milbery as he executed this: 360 on into boardslide, 360 slide through the kink, 50-50 out on the flat down flat. Wow, right? That’s what the judges thought, and they handed out the Best Trick Award in return. Travis Rice finally got the grabbed backside invert he was looking for on the quarterpipe extension and clocked in serious cash for that fifteen-minute segment. And of course, Shaun White. Like a cat with its prey, he played around for a bit and then really just sunk his fangs into the sinewy flesh of the event. Backside nine on the quarterpipe into 450 on, 270 out on the picnic table-just one among many runs full of next-level shit.
The women’s rail jam hour saw Laura Hadar clearly dominating with multiple lines and all-around sick style. It was probably tricks like her half-Cab into 50-50 to back-Smith on the flat down that got her 6,000 dollars and first place, but it was the fact that she got up after casing the bench on the QP deck with her body that had everyone truly impressed-she’s relentless. Molly Aguirre came second with smooth backside fives on the quarterpipe and a series of tricky rail stunts. And Marie France-Roy’s rail prowess, including steezy tricks like frontside boardslide to fakie, got her into third place.
Now, for the slopestyle. Are you getting all this? Well, the course was built up big just like last year, with a series of death-defying jumps leading like a treasure trail down the steep face of Vail’s Gold Peak (and with tens of thousands on the line, there really was a treasure chest at the end of it all).
Travis Rice was definitely the crowd favorite with a run of two sevens, a Cab nine nosegrab, and a gigantic corked double-backflip. It was the latter, of course, that had everyone on their feet belting out cheers into the dark night sky. Andreas Wiig, however, went about his business with a cool, methodical calm-trying his best to overthrow Mr. White’s reign of terror by attempting to land four 1080s. But no! It was not to be, and the night once again belonged to Shaun, who linked together three 1080s and a switch backside 900-the obvious sequel to his 2005 history-making run of “all four nines.”
That’s right, it was an entire weekend of Shaun wins-truly amazing. Funny how you always bet on him, but then you’re still somehow surprised when he manages to win (again?). Anyway, I better go. Ever since that night I discovered “the secret,” I feel like I’m being followed. I know I sound paranoid. Look, the truth is-it has to do with Shaun White. It’s not by chance that he’s such a good snowboarder … he’s in league with-shhh, someone’s here. If anything happens to me, will you take this story and give it to … ack! aafdadfadfffffffffffff … no, please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Slopestyle Results
Shaun White
Andreas Wiig
Travis Rice
Chad Otterstrom
Kevin Pearce
David Benedek

Women’s Rail Jam Results
Laura Hadar
Molly Aguirre
Marie France-Roy

Men’s Rail Jam Results
Shaun White
Travis Rice
Pat Milbery
TJ Schneider
Kevin Pierce
Chad Otterstrom

Malay Factor Best Trick Award: Pat Milbery, frontside 360 on into boardslide, sliding 360 through the kink into 50-50 on the down.