Survival Guide To A Crappy Season

Pillows of powder explode as you drop from ledgeto ledge before charging Mach ten into the trees-spaced so ideally you question reality. And then you snapout of it. The snow on the ground is covered with a red-brown dust blown in from the deserts of Utah.Patches of grass, brown and dead, poke through the grim snowpack. The sky is gray, but it’s not going tosnow.

Damn, another shitty season. Don’t sweat it. Here’s 10 ways to occupy yourself during a dry season.

10. Swallow your local pride and hit the road. Go nomadic and chase down the fattest snow.

9. Get injured and take up video games. You could be landing 1080s and 900 rodeos during your first session.

8. Pretendyou’re a Vermonter and ignore the conditions. Look what its done for them. 7. Learn something new, likecooking, sewing, or basket weaving.

6. Go on strike. Get fat, bitter, drunk, and forget about snowboardingaltogether.

5. Get a “real” job and work more.

4. Milk the existing hits until the bomb-hole landings haveenough shape to build more hits.

3. Work on riding switch. Try to block out the fact that eating hardpackwhile relearning to ride really blows.

2. Make ritualistic sacrifices. In Crested Butte, an effigy of the “Grump”is burned as part of the Vinetock festival that’s supposed to bring Üllr, the Norse god of winter, into townwith a heavy snow year. He hasn’t been paying attention lately.

1. Sleep in.

-John Chorlton