April Foolishness

The following stories are not true. NATO BOMBS ELAN SNOWBOARD FACTORY

The Elan snowboard factory in Furnitz, Austria was accidentally destroyed this morning by an out-of-control Tomahawk guided missile launched from a U.S. Navy warship. . . SNOWBOARDING BANNED FROM 2002 OLYMPICS

At an emergency meeting this week, Juan Antonio Samaranch, president of the International Olympic Committee, officially canceled the snowboarding portion of the 2002 Winter Olympics . . . PEPSICO BUYS BURTON SNOWBOARDS

After sponsoring the 1999 US Open with it’s hot, extreme sports soft drink brand, Mountain Dew, PepsiCo’s board of directors has announced a letter of intent to purchase a 80 percent stake in the Burlington, Vermont based Burton Snowboards. . . ASPEN OPENS TO GOOFY FOOTERS

“It’s all about blind spots,” says Mountain Manager Kirk Wilco. “What we’ve found is that regular-footed riders, because of the natural funnel shape at the bottom of Aspen Mountain, are more likely to produce the serious accidents we wish to avoid. . . WB LAUNCHES NEW EXTREME SNOWBOARD DRAMA

The rumors that first surfaced on the alt.tv.party-of-five usenet forum have been confirmed by Art Wentley, president of Sony and Columbia Tristar Television: a new television drama entitled Sierra High Extreme will debut on the WB Network this fall. PETERSOME PUBLICATION STARTS NEW MAGAZINE

Petersome Publications of San Clemente, California has announced the arrival of Gentlemens’ Snowboarder to their stable of fine publications.

TM5 grabs top team riders. New Brand Targets Costco Customers, and much, much more.