You know the intro to the Jetsons’ where George wakes up and stumbles into a human carwash? Every morning I wake up wishing it existed for real. It turns out somebody patented this Human Car Wash (HCW), here’s the sell: “The HCW eliminates slipping and falling because the washees are strapped into a hanging harness and merely need to stand or dangle in a fixed position while the conveyor belt moves them from station to station. First the wetting station, then the soapy spray station, next the rinsing station and at the end, no towels are needed because there’s a blow drying station!” I think there might be a real market for these at snowboard camps, too … just sayin’.
Here’s something from that same site that we don’t need—the Snowboard bumper: “This handy device fits most boarders and is worn like a vest, only it’s bigger, much bigger. When you start to fall down the Snowboarder Bumper will keep you upright enough to recover your balance quickly and easily. Tree getting in your way? No problem, you’ll just bounce right off. If you do manage to fall down you may just become the world’s largest living snowball. Helpful hint; don’t forget to remove your bumper before attempting to enter the lodge.” Funny and sad at the same time.