Grenade’s The Boned Age at the Hard Rock San Diego

For a few of the dirty details read on……

The Grenerds descended on The Hard Rock on Saturday night to premier their newest movie The Boned Age and as could be expected, things were weird from the get go, what with the red carpet scramble, all the thick necks in suits, and faux-hawk frat types, and the shady-eyed dames dressed like they were fresh from prom. And shit only got stranger.

You had to take an elevator to get up to the spot where they were showing the movie. The first time we tried to get on some slimey-looking 50-year-old dude stopped us short. There were five cougars lined up behind him and he had a wild look that said, BACK OFF.

Once in the joint, with everything taking on shades of neon and vision tunnelled and vignetted around the edges, the crowd consumed you. The furniture was expensive looking, there were “reserved” signs on all these empty tables, and bouncers in every direction. The paranoia was creeping. All kinds of non-snowboarder types with bad haircuts and silky dresses shuffled around, always seeming to be looking for someone. Wondered how all this found it’s way into a snowboarding. Realized I wouldn’t end in this kind of place otherwise, ever. And it was stimulating all the senses nicely. Decided to embrace the novelty of it all. That made the fourteen-dollar drinks go down easier. A little easier. The level of costumer service also helped.

Soon enough, Danny and Dingo were at the dark end of the pool in front of the big screen getting the crowd worked into a frenzy, when some dude (think it was Dave England) strolled up to them, stood tall in front of the crowd and shook his nut in everyone’s squinted faces. Then Dingo yelled some more, the crowd cackled back and all the attendant reality televsion camera men hovered, always in the foreground, always filming, and making us introverts squirm. Enough of that….

The movie was sick. There was a babe, the skits were funny, and didn’t distract from the riding, which was gnarly. Biggest park jumps I’ve seen in a while. Made Hemsedal look sissy. There was plenty of natty shredding too. Gabe Taylor tore mountains top to bottom. Scotty Lago flew over them. Goontown got the crowd going. Clancy too. And Kass killed. Everyone did something. Finding: The Boned Age deserves heavy play in your digital video disc player. Swoop it up when it’s in stores and watch it ’till your eyes bleed.