RANCHO SANTA FE, Calif. – In a stunning and almost unbelievable turn of events on Mars, the NASA rover Soujourner has stumbled upon perhaps the most incredible find in human history. A colored fossil was discovered shortly before the Martian sunrise on day 8 of the Jet Propulsion Lab Mars Pathfinder Mission.

The fossil, now dubbed Stogey, has a phosphorous blue glow and is absolutely enormous. NASA scientists have stated that the fossil vaguely resembles a life-sized version of the famed SOL Beanie. The SOL Beanie has become world-renowned in the past year for it’s incredible warmth, and overall total coolness.

Stogey will be probed by Soujourner’s APX utility and reports of it’s contents will be made available online sometime tomorrow.