Airplanes scare me. I’m on one right now, headed to Mt. Hood to film for Mack Dawg’s next movie. I’m scared. I’m wondering if Y2K will decide to take me down. That would suck. I like to think that if my plane did start to crash I could do something about it.
My usual daydream is that I get to the emergency door and bust it open, then, without letting go of the door, I jump out using it as a body board. I quickly spot a lake and steer my makeshift sky board towards it. As I get closer to the lake I prepare to spread out my limbs, thus slowing my fall, and about 100 feet or so, just before I hit the water, I dive, head first, arms at a point, like those cliff divers from Hawaii. As I enter the water I arch my back and because of my velocity I actually have enough momentum to shoot up out of the water like a fish. This is the best part because I see the plane crash into the ground off in the distance, and I’m not on it.
It seems I’m always a hero or superhuman in my daydreams. Whether I’m rescuing Michelle from 3 armed robbers, or saving animals that are about to become Big Macs, you don’t want to mess with me in my daydreams. Michelle seems to think it’s kinda cute, but I’m very serious when I say that I would react the same way in real life. Am I delusional? Maybe I would just cower and run if a bad guy tried to hurt me. Maybe being American has given me a false sense of security and a flare for misguided cockiness.
In Seattle a couple weeks ago the World Trade Organization met and caused quite a stir. Riots broke out in the streets of one of Americas most popular cities. People busted windows, painted unartistically on walls, and formed human chains blocking the entrance to the convention center all to get the attention of our leaders. But I wonder if that’s what really happened. I think it’s more plausible that about 10% of the people out there protesting actually knew what they were protesting about, and the rest of them just jumped on the bandwagon because they had nothing better to do. While the cops were busy holding their ground at the conferences, the rest of the city was left unprotected. Vandals looted Starbucks and Nike, McDonalds and, The Gap. Everybody in Denial. Maybe the rain in Seattle just got to be too much to bare, maybe they were living out their wildest daydreams.
I wonder if those people realize what they did. Or if they even care. I wonder if they see the irony in acting so childish, protesting the politics of the world’s biggest spoiled brats. And I wonder if we as a race will ever grow up, or if our adults will go on pretending to be responsible, pretending to be our leaders, but still cheating on their wives and taking the drugs they themselves have made illegal. It’s up to every individual to change the world, but first we need to grow up. Our parents and leaders need to grow up. They need to quit lying and acting like selfish children and start acting like super humans. Like heros.
Jason Brown is a musician and snowboard super hero. You can check out the rest of his world at www.jasonbrown.com.