For one glorious season, MTV’s Jackass—of which Dave was a featured player and Whitey a filmer—made reality television fun. Between bites of Mexican food, a bug peeing, and their relating everything to how much TransWorld sucks, these two talk up going beyond TV big time to the big screen.

Did you guys make a Jackass movie?

Dave: Somebody did. We made something laugh. >

Whitey: Made something laugh?

D: We made something that’s going to make something laugh.

And there’s a pending premiere …

D: So you’re going to tell us about this? I agree wholeheartedly. Yes. Affirmative.

W: I second that emotion.

D: That’d be a good karaoke song (starts singing)

I’m setting the scene for you to embellish.

D: It’s going to be almost as good as Snowboarding Online. And you know that f—kin’ rocks, right?

W: We made a movie for jackasses, by jackasses.

D: Whitey taped a video camera to the end of a baseball bat and started hitting me with it.

W: We didn’t do that but we should’ve. That probably would’ve made the movie.

So there was a shoot involving a camera. Maybe Whitey pointing the camera at Dave. Some audio tape …

W: We shot from January to May.

D: -Ish.

W: —All over the U.S. and Japan.

D: Is Orlando in the U.S.?

W: And Miami.

That’s where your segments are?

W: We shot a lot in Orlando and Miami, but we did different things every day.

D: We shot in Portland and they had to call it “The Pacific Northwest” because the city wouldn’t let us.

W: They said we didn’t have permits.

After you bogarted all your footage for the show.

W: A lot of people seem to be very nervous about this movie. Especially the companies that made it. They keep on wanting to censor and they’re scared to release things because they’re afraid they’re going to get in trouble.

And wasn’t that the point?

D: The point was to make everyone completely happy and satisfied.

W: And to make all the stars like Dave England rich.

D: Did I mention what a big star I am?

But wasn’t the point to show what you couldn’t on TV?

W: I think the point was to show men nude. Which is what Jackass has always kinda been—a subversive gay show.

D: I’d like to say there’s more footage of my hairy ass than of my face.

W: And probably more footage of Chris Pontius’ penis than of his face. There’s more shots of Chris’ package than of most people in the movie.

Is there a Party Boy resurgence?

W: Yeah, he’s definitely a staple. You pretty much can’t lose with Party Boy.

D: I don’t think there’s one woman in the whole movie. (To Whitey) Is there a woman in there?

W: Other than Dottie?

D: Oh yeah, and Bam’s (Margera) mom. That’s it. Even people we were f—kin’ with were all dudes.

Why a movie instead of the TV show?

D: Because MTV started saying you can’t do this, you can’t do that …

W: It just got frustrating always getting shut down. The more popular it got, the less you could do, which is kind of ironic and silly. I think the director (of the movie, producer of the show) Jeff (Tremaine) and everybody else got tired of it and said screw it, let’s make a movie because it’s (rated) “R” and we can do what we want. And in the end, they found out we can’t do what we want.

D: But it’s way better. You’ll see. It’s borderline gay porn. I swear to God, we’re not joking. We actually did do a gay stunt but it didn’t make it in there.

D: Gay dads.

W: I thought that was funny.

D: Me and Pontius were two gay dads out on the town and we got into a little spat.

W: Dave was the more conservative gay man and Chris was the gay biker.

Anthat didn’t make it in?

D: Nope.

W: It wasn’t gay enough.

Is there a storyline going through the movie?

D: There’s a big hole in the plot. That’s the problem.

W: The hole is that there is no plot.

D: But there’s a twist at the end. Several twists and turns throughout the whole movie.

W: Definitely when you think they’re going to zig, they definitely zag.

D: I don’t think we zigged at all. I think it’s just zag, zag, zag.

So you submit a skit, get it okayed, then go out and shoot?

D: We get them “No-kayed.”

W: Most of the movie was okayed way in advance because it was such a big movie and they had to get everything approved: “You can do this but you can’t do that. You can do it that way. You can’t do it there.” We had to get permits for the locations.

D: The government stepped in at one point. We had to have a private meeting with Bush. On Air Force One.

Did you have to get your idea chosen?

D: Have you ever played that game “Go Fish?” It was like that: “Do you have a “shit-your-pants in the car” skit? Yes? Go fish.”

W: The actors wrote ideas for themselves. But sometimes someone would submit an idea and someone else would end up doing it. They just split them into groups and said, “You’re going to do this.” Half the time they were like, “Huh? This isn’t funny.” Because they didn’t write the skit.

D: Sometimes we’d just draw pictures instead of write words.

W: Hieroglyphics—

D: —Instead of story boards. In a cave. That would’ve been cool—the office should’ve been in a cave.

W: —Like the Bat Cave?

D: —The Ass Cave.

Did you submit all the footage you shot?

D: You just have to submit.

W: We shoot everything, then everyone watches it and pretty much agrees—that’s funny!

D: Usually what happens is the skits that seem so stupid no one would ever laugh, those are most funny. Then the ones that seem like the greatest ideas won’t work.

W: That’s how it is eight out of ten times. You swear, “This skit is just going to kill,” and it sucks.”

Did you have screenings?

D: Yeah, and the test audiences are rating them as high as The Titanic. Swear to God.

No, did they screen the footage for you?

D: It’s pretty informal. We’ll go down and check some stuff out. W: If they’re doing something when you’re down there you can give them your two cents. Sometimes they’ll listen, sometimes they won’t. It just depends on their attitudes, or how much a rush they’re in. There’s so much material for them to go through, it’s insane.

They screened it for parents?

D: They were pretty diverse audiences.

Why don’t they go right for the target?

D: Fifteen-year-olds are just the obvious target, but older people like it, I swear. You’ll see. All ages will like this. They will.

W: Older people will definitely be more offended, but that just makes them want to go even more. To know what the hell their kids are watching.

D: My grandma likes the TV show. You’ll see. Can you just write that? “You’ll see.”

What if your target audience can’t get into the movie?

D: What’s going to happen is, a lot of our target audience is going to buy tickets for another movie and sneak into Jackass. It’ll have a negative effect on our profits.

Is there a lot of stuff we won’t see?

D: The DVD is going to have all the editing room floor stuff. And they might even have a special on MTV. It was actually on the editing room floor—I went in there and waded through all this stuff.

Did the process make you want to make more movies?

D: It made me want make more babies.

That’s a given.

D: It’s a taken. No, I want to make TV shows. Short term. Small screens. Screw movies. Movies are such a big project.

How about you Whitey?

W: I want to do anything. Music videos, TV shows, commercials.

Describe a typical shoot.

W: On a typical shoot we usually split into two groups. A couple Jackass guys if they’re the stars, usually two filmers—two cameras, or three with a hidden camera. Then two producers and two people chasing down people with release forms. That’s the worst part—when someone has a really good reaction but they won’t sign a release form, you can’t even run it. That’s happened a few times. Everything had to be released for this film.

What are the other skits you worked on for the show?

D: “Urban kayaking,” “The D—k-Sucking Bicycle.” “The Baby On The Bike.”

Where you crashed right here, on this very corner.

D: We used to terrorize this neighborhood. We filmed a bunch of stuff here. “Angry Cell Phone Man.” “Urban Snowboarding” in San Francisco. “The Vomlette”—that only played once and they wouldn’t show it again. Riding Big Wheels down gnarly terrain. Riding a toilet down a hill on a skateboard—the ceramic broke. I almost cut my ass.

W: You own kayaking down stairs.

D: “Urban Kayaking” was fun. I was all nervous that morning, thinking I was going to die, and then by the end of the day I wanted to do it more. Seriously, it was so fun.

You made it look fun.

D: There was this one—”Seattle Skimboarding.” Whitey wrote it. We worked on it more than anything else and it didn’t even make the movie.

W: It worked okay—

D: —It didn’t make the movie, did it?

W: No it didn’t.

D: And we worked so hard on it. Four solid days. Everyone got hurt. We were all wet and cold every day.

W: You guys were bummed. It’ll be on the DVD though. It was in the movie until the last minute, then it got cut.

D: J2 had a small thing in there. He did all kinds of things in there but it didn’t make it. Poor J2. That dirty little whore.

J2 could’ve been an honorary Jackass?

D: He could be on there. He’d be so good. Who should they kick off? He can take that big fat guy Preston’s place. I think J2 should put on a bunch of weight and take Preston’s place.

W: He should take Knoxville’s place. What would he have to do to do that? (simultaneously) Not much.

So did this all come out of working on Blunt together? (Dave, Editor. Whitey, Photo Editor.)

D: Yeah. And from knowing Jeff. I did some stuff for the Big Brother videos.

W: Same with me. It was like, these are people I’ve done stuff with before.

Did they all vibe you because you’re snowboarders?

W: Yeah, but Jeff can’t skateboard.

D: I can skateboard way better Jeff.

W: I’m sure Jeff was better than me back in the day, but I’m sorry, it’s not back in the day.

D: I’ve gone snowboarding with all those guys. They all like it.

W: They like snowboarding, they just all talk shit about it.re such a big project.

How about you Whitey?

W: I want to do anything. Music videos, TV shows, commercials.

Describe a typical shoot.

W: On a typical shoot we usually split into two groups. A couple Jackass guys if they’re the stars, usually two filmers—two cameras, or three with a hidden camera. Then two producers and two people chasing down people with release forms. That’s the worst part—when someone has a really good reaction but they won’t sign a release form, you can’t even run it. That’s happened a few times. Everything had to be released for this film.

What are the other skits you worked on for the show?

D: “Urban kayaking,” “The D—k-Sucking Bicycle.” “The Baby On The Bike.”

Where you crashed right here, on this very corner.

D: We used to terrorize this neighborhood. We filmed a bunch of stuff here. “Angry Cell Phone Man.” “Urban Snowboarding” in San Francisco. “The Vomlette”—that only played once and they wouldn’t show it again. Riding Big Wheels down gnarly terrain. Riding a toilet down a hill on a skateboard—the ceramic broke. I almost cut my ass.

W: You own kayaking down stairs.

D: “Urban Kayaking” was fun. I was all nervous that morning, thinking I was going to die, and then by the end of the day I wanted to do it more. Seriously, it was so fun.

You made it look fun.

D: There was this one—”Seattle Skimboarding.” Whitey wrote it. We worked on it more than anything else and it didn’t even make the movie.

W: It worked okay—

D: —It didn’t make the movie, did it?

W: No it didn’t.

D: And we worked so hard on it. Four solid days. Everyone got hurt. We were all wet and cold every day.

W: You guys were bummed. It’ll be on the DVD though. It was in the movie until the last minute, then it got cut.

D: J2 had a small thing in there. He did all kinds of things in there but it didn’t make it. Poor J2. That dirty little whore.

J2 could’ve been an honorary Jackass?

D: He could be on there. He’d be so good. Who should they kick off? He can take that big fat guy Preston’s place. I think J2 should put on a bunch of weight and take Preston’s place.

W: He should take Knoxville’s place. What would he have to do to do that? (simultaneously) Not much.

So did this all come out of working on Blunt together? (Dave, Editor. Whitey, Photo Editor.)

D: Yeah. And from knowing Jeff. I did some stuff for the Big Brother videos.

W: Same with me. It was like, these are people I’ve done stuff with before.

Did they all vibe you because you’re snowboarders?

W: Yeah, but Jeff can’t skateboard.

D: I can skateboard way better Jeff.

W: I’m sure Jeff was better than me back in the day, but I’m sorry, it’s not back in the day.

D: I’ve gone snowboarding with all those guys. They all like it.

W: They like snowboarding, they just all talk shit about it.