ApocOlympics: TransWorld Carries Torch To Park City

Gas masks and a week’s bottled water in tow, we set out for Salt Lake City this a.m. on four-and-a-half hours of sleep, Red Bull, and Judas Priest. No stinkin’ lack of credentials was going to stop us from realizing our vision quest; the snowboarding flame had to arrive to Utah–the TransWorld way.

Sure, we were awarded a couple of media passes, but those wouldn’t gain all of us–or you–entry to the games. So, John Stouffer, AKA Stove Top, and I decided to take it upon ourselves to bring the games to the people.

Jen Sherowski, Lee Crane, and Mark Gallup (who hold the golden tickets) will be positioned on the inside for blow-by-blow coverage. But on the perimeter, outside the barricades, clinging to the fences, and generally hovering below the panning gazes of those armed with M16’s, Stove Top and I will be bringing it to you–at least what we can see from the streets.

Last night, a TransWorld operative explained the mission like this: “All these people helped lug the Olympic torch around–white gloves and funny suits–but who?s carrying the torch of snowboarding? Who? In all the commotion, the fire, the spirit of our sport could be easily doused. We won’t let that happen.”

Needless to say, Stove Top and I were apprehensive as we set out from Oceanside by land, but we didn’t waiver. The traditional landmarks still stood: the world’s largest thermometer, the Luxor, BYU. We last-suppered at In-N-Out; this kid ain’t goin’ out hungry.

Twelve hours later–snowboarding’s torch still afire–the routine began. We were denied access more than once just trying to make it to our condo/headquarters. But don’t worry, we’ll get in there close when the Cab tens start flying.

As luck would have it, the pipe can be easily surveyed from our too-pricey-to-tell condo at the base of the hill–three checkpoints deep. The crew is fast assembling, Lee and Jennifer are already in place, and riders are hidden in bunkers throughout town. Log in tomorrow for early assessments of the scene.

Note: If anything should happen to me, use my Secure I.D. password to enter the drafts folder in my AOL account. There you’ll find my goodbyes.