Tiny Type

The sun’s going down earlier these days, and someones burning leaves out back like a big pile of fall-flavored incense. Your heads probably a few months forward—knee-deep in the first dump of the year, but your bodys stuck in the present—staring at the calendar and waiting for December to pop up. Welcome to another edition of Tiny Type, where you can live vicariously and take pleasure in the misfortunes of others. Itll make the time literally fly by—we promise.

Funny Weird, Not Funny Ha Ha

Just when you thought things couldnt get any weirder with J2 Rasmus (hes already draping himself in velour Gucci warm-up suits, for chrissakes), he goes and gets a Brazilian bikini wax—on film. Apparently the mini-movie was created for a friend in the aesthetician business and designed to help prove why men shouldnt undergo the painful procedure. Were betting it worked, cause Twos lost a good patch of skin on one of his nuts—ouch. Gentlemen, let that be a lesson to you.

In other weirdness, the Mack Dawg crew (riders and filmers) has joyfully discovered teeth-whitening products. The likes of cameraman Ross Steffey, JP Walker, and JP Solberg have been seen using both the strips and the gel to get that model-fresh gleam. Grab a copy of the new MDP film Shakedown to catch a glimpse of the brand-new pearly whites on all your favorite snowboard personalities.

Former TransWorld senior photographer Derek Kettela has been in New York City for some time now, trying to get a foothold in the fashion biz. Well, reports have recently come in that Kettela, also affectionately known as “the screamer,” has finally made it, and is now (according to Derek himself) “poppin bottles with models.”

And now, let us introduce the latest phenomena hitting the Portland scene, a little thing called “Mans Night.” If it sounds scary—it is. Picture Scotty Wittlake, Andy Forgash, Corey Smith, TWS Chris Coyle, and a gauntlet of other troublemakers riding ten-speeds around Portland armed with drink and their own XY chromosomes—all on a bender celebrating, yup, being men. Mans Night is held on Friday evenings, and each outing has a theme, including “Prison Rules,” “Men Of Action,” and “Unprovoked Aggression.” You wont make it out without a sore liver and a brand-new Sharpie tattoo.

A + B = C

Ex-TransWorld SNOWboarding Art Director and all-around design ninja Yogi Proctor has launched his latest project. Described as “focusing on exploration of the visual physical,” The Popular Group is sure to be abstract and completely mind-blowing—in true Yogi style. Check it out for yourself at the-popular-group.com.

This year, the Burton family, including Jake, his wife Donna, George (thirteen), Taylor (nine), and little Timmy (six), are embarking on a ten-month snowboard trip around the globe—covering six continents and following winter the whole way. They took off in July for summer riding down south, starting in Argentina, then on to Chile, New Zealand, Australia, Morocco, throughout Europe, and into the Himalayas. Jake is reportedly using the journey “to get in touch with the sport on a global basis.” The family will also be surfing in the Galapagos Islands, Peru, Tonga, and Hawai’i, sea kayaking in Thailand, and touring through China, Tibet, and Vietnam. Damn, its good to be a Burton.

Speaking of touring, Tina Basich is hitting the road to promote her new book, Pretty Good For A Girl, An Autobiography Of A Snowboarding Pioneer. The book goes on sale October 1, and Basich will be making appearances at Zumiez stores in Salt Lake City on October 4, Portland on October 6, Seattle on October 7, Denver on October 8, Los Angeles on October 12, and Sacramento on October 14.

Jackson Holes Bluebird Wax has announced Water To Wine, a new movie starring teamriders Kurt Wastell, Travis Rice, Bryan Iguchi, Nic Drago, Carsten Bahnson,, and Lance Pitman. The 45-minute, low-budget movie was written, edited, and directed by Bluebird Wax Owner Willie McMillon. “The movie is about how f—king hectic it is to go f—king snowboarding sometimes,” he says. It stars Harrison Ford (yes, the Harrison Ford), and highlights include Wastell kicking redneck ass in the Cowboy Bar, Travis Rice hijacking the Jackson Hole Tram, and some snowboarding. The DVD will be available free at most snowboard shops or direct from Bluebird Wax (bluebirdwax.com). The world premiere will be in October at The Cowboy Bar in Jackson Hole Town Square on Travis Rices twenty-first birthday—oh, shit.

To Whom It May Concern

We regret to inform you that there have been a few layoffs as of late in the realms of sponsorville. Everyones favorite Canadian James Beach got dropped from Burton, and Rossignol said good-bye to Dionne Delesalle and Andrew Crawford. Boys, today is the first day of the rest of your life.

On the up side, K2 mainstay Travis Parker wont have to worry about the pink slip for a while—hes just re-signed with the brand for an additional three years. K2 also hired halfpipe powerhouse Gretchen Bleiler. Savier shoes reeled in JP Tomich with a two-year deal on the companys snow team.

And Nixon watches added Torah Bright and Hana Beaman to the roster.

Congratulations go out to the newly engaged Jason McAlister, whose longtime girlfriend recently accepted his marriage proposal, and Rossignol teamrider Tadashi Fuse, who recently tied the knot at home in Japan. We wish them all the best.

Tough Is The New Sensitive

The long, hot summer really does make people crazy sometimes. Around Independence Day time, Kurt Wastell and the TNine crew got into a scuffle with a carload of strangers that ended with Wastell punching out their rear window—and getting some wicked cuts on his arm in the process.

Speaking of busted up, Vans stuntman Scotty Arnold threw down with a dude named Max from Mammoth over on-again off-again girlfriend Erin Comstock (actually, the fight wasnt over Comstock so much as over some insulting comments Max made about her). Always the gentleman, Arnold got in a few punches in defense of his lady before catching a fist straight to the grill. Scotty denies that his nose was actually broken and maintains that “the other guy looked way worse.”

In other off-season news, Forum am Travis Kennedy just might be earning himself a reputation as “the new Bozung” with antics that include running from the cops his first night at Mt. Hood after boozily rearranging furniture in a random home. Stay tuned as Team Manager Ricky Melnik tries his damndest to steer young Kennedys off-hill activities toward the straight and narrow so that his on-hill activities stay solid.

And last but not least, Salomon power-couple Annie Boulanger and David Benedek are now on the outs. “I didnt like him that much anyway,” Boulanger reportedly said. But our hopes for uncomfortable company photo shoots were dashed when we heard that relations between the two were normal and relaxed—damn, no drama. And as one romance ends, another begins—Torah Bright and Shaun White? Were not saying no.