Tiny Type 15.2

This installment of Tiny Type finds the snowboard industry exactly as turbid and stagnant as ever. We’ve only skimmed the surface of the pond–stirring up even more silt in the effort–to bottle and recap some for your benefit. A word to the wise–don’t drink the water.

First You Get The Money, Then You Get The Power

Team trips to camps in North America and points international have been commonplace this summer, though wrapping up riders’ video parts hasn’t been the only mission. Paavo Tikkanen and Max Jenke were on their “Hit It Raw” tour of Scandinavia, while K2 bosom buddies Travis Parker and Bobby Meeks were on a similar quest abroad, “The Insemination.”

Congratulations to Shaun White, who (we’re told) received his first open-mouth tongue kiss (from Anne Molin Kongsgaard) at this year’s Arctic Challenge, most likely following his first pro win.

Marc Andre Tarte spent a night in jail after an incident with several members of a Christian youth group in the Bible Belt of the West–Big Bear, California. After joking around with a few girls in a Jacuzzi, Tarte found himself in further hot water when the fifteen-year-old girls went back and told their group leader about the seemingly innocent incident. Tarte was held for public drunkenness, nearly missing his flight home, and will have to live in eternal hellfire.

You may remember that last month we reported Scotty Wittlake had been banned from flying Southwest Airlines. What hadn’t been mentioned was the DUI he received at about the same time. Now, when you get a DUI, they generally take away your driver’s license, right? So wouldn’t it be safe to assume that Wittlake isn’t legal to operate a motor vehicle? What if he happened to commandeer Blaise Rosenthal’s rental car, and drive it around Government Camp in the middle of the night without taking any measures to avoid road signs, then abandoned the car in front of the Village Store with a bottle of liquor in the driver’s seat? Wouldn’t it probably get him in some more trouble? If he did do something like that, we wonder if he’d be banned from High Cascade Snowboard Camp for the remainder of the summer?

Dreaded Bliss And Diaper Bombs

Is there nothin’ pure in this world? Associate Editor Joel Muzzey recently won a free Mongolian barbecue dinner at a downtown Oceanside karaoke bar for his rendition of Billy Idol’s “White Wedding.” Hey little sister shotgun!

And while we’re on the topic of editors, weddings, and shotguns, former TransWorld Senior Editor and current Burton Team Manager Dave Sypniewski is expecting. Though he’s been eating for two for quite some time, it’s actually Syp’s girlfriend, uhh soon-to-be wife, who’s pregnant. So that Dave will remain the only bastard, an “arranged” marriage was facilitated by the bride’s father’s old service revolver … Nitro’s Seth Miller was set to be getting married at the end of August, as is past Santa Cruz pro Marisa Stoller. Sims am teamrider, Anthony Meggait, got married in May. You may recognize him from several shots in Issue 2 of 411 Snow. Senior Contributing Photographer Shem Roose and Rebecca Herath are engaged. Friends have reported that Chris Sheppard is also about to take the big plunge any day now, but no one is quite sure when, not even Sheppard. Andy Hetzel and Circe Wallace recently exchanged vows. Hetz’s bachelor party was a three-day affair that went down in the Biggest Little City–Reno, Nevada–and saw the resurgence of Jeff “Headit” Pettit. Circe is also happily witchild. Pat Melendowski and his wife, HCSC Director Victoria, were due in July. Finally, Todd and Lindsy Richards welcomed the landing of their prodigal son, Camden Thorne. Unfortunately, Todd’s finally going to have to learn to share his toys with others, something he never latched onto in his formative years.

Hocus Focus

Film production companies¿the incestuous little cells they are–have lately experienced the videographer shuffle or is that scuffle? Kurt Heine left Mack Dawg to start a new production company called Straight Jacket Films with Todd Hazeltine. Speaking of Hazeltine, the details aren’t clear, but reports say that he was socked in the eye by one of his own filmers, causing a permanent loss of sight to his filming eye. Xodus Productions filmer Mike Bagnulo left to fill the void at MDP and was replaced by Bluecouch Laboratories’ Jared Slater. Slater is also beginning filming for the Grenade Gloves video due out next year. With Slater on the West Coast team, plenty of space is left in the East Coast video market; John Cavan and Greg Francke have stepped up with Iron Curtain. The video teaser debuted at an Eastern Boarder BMX video premiere in Worcester, Massachusetts. Also turning a video out is VCR-editing-guru Ben Fee, whose past efforts have included Barb’s Trout and Ride The White Heat. Fee got himself a digital video camera and a computer and will be releasing Odyssey this fall.

Like Whoa

Tom Gilles is looped. Taking four days, two attempts, one chainsaw, two diggers, and a snowcat, Gilles successfully rode an approximately fourteen-foot-tall snow loop constructed up at Mt. Hood. The footage will be included in Heine’s new flick. Crawford had gone for it and wrecked several seasons earlier, if you recall (brief footy in The Revival). But during an earlier attempt, the previously unreinforced loop caved-in on photographer Cintia Schutt. An estimated two tons of snow fell on her, burying Cintia, breaking her back (forcing surgery), knocking out a front tooth, and tweaking her knee. “It crushed me like a pop can,” she later said of the accident.

Last year’s Summer Gravity Games showed that any motorized vehicle can be flipped over backward. Jim Rippey further proved last that last May by successfully executing the first-ever backflip on a snowmobile in Utah’s played-out backcountry. Rippey’s Believe It Or Not, a snowboarding video documentary that’s been threatening to be completed, will include the backflip as well as heavily collected AK footage.

Another “extreme” dude, Shaun Palmer, has picked up a motorcycle sponsor. After winning Action Sports Athlete of the Year at the ESPN Espy awards, Honda added the Pzalm to their moto team. Palmer qualified with ease for the 250cc Pro National at Glen Helen, California and appeared to be super fit and plenty fast. Unfortunately, he was involved in a multi-bike pileup in the second corner at the start of the first moto, which ripped his pinky finger wide open and took the nail clean off. He didn’t finish the race, and at press time, hasn’t been back since.

Upping The Ante

Did Tara Dakides make an eager phone call involving several repetitions of the phrase, “Show me the money,” to sports’ agency The Familie? Supposedly they’ve been shopping around for a cash cow of a board sponsor since her contract with Sims was up this summer.

Aspiring young troublemakers will be able to hone their snowboarding skills on Danny Kass’ Gnu pro model, which will be released by mid-season. Early intelligence reports expect sales of his board to “blow up.”

Big-mountain hero Jeremy Jones will finally be getting a pro model of his own on Rossignol. Its first public appearance is set for SIA in January.

Andreas Wiig reportedly turned down a big offer from Sessions to ride for Planet Earth.

Split signed Stacey Burke and Roberta Rodger to its team. Ride’s Justin Mooney is recovering from a broken ankle suffered at a park shoot in Mammoth, and Ali Goulet is said to be bringing his knee back to life and doing well.

If you can remember Apocalypse Snowboards, then you may remember Jason Beaton. After moonlighting as a photographer for the past few years, and getting married then divorced one month later, Beaton is claiming comeback.

Win, Lose, Or Draw

Investing his capital for a golden future, Andrew Crawford bought a tanning salon in Salem, Oregon. You’d think a more educated bet would’ve been in a sunscreen company, considering his propensity to turn lobster red with the slightest exposure to that mean ol’ summer sun. Todd Richard’s newest nickname for Crawford is “Tandrew Charford.” What’s funnier than that is that Andrew’s said to be laughing all the way to the bank.

Haole to you, too … Erik “The Mule” Leines had a shared moment of aloha while surfing Lower Trestles in July. Dropping in on a local, he felt he was less in the wrong on the right. Unfortunately, Mule did it a second time to the same guy, who surfed him down, tackled him, and consequently held him under. And while we’re on the topic, is Erik on Elevation or Ride? It just might be the latter, according to one of his team managers, though another suggested Burton could use a strong North American. There’s yet been no “official word.”

Someone seems to have forgotten that snowboarders are a bunch of illiterate punks, because there’re a rash of books coming out. Former TransWorld Editor Eric Blehm is heading up production for a history of DC Shoe Co. And he has assigned, of all people, TWSB Associate Editor Joel Muzzey to write up the life and times of T.R. Burton’s finest are also hard at work on an askewed view of Snowboarding Inside Out. Eric Kotch, along with photographer Jeff Curtes and Jared Eberhardt (formerly of JDK and Medium), is large and in charge of the project titled Blower, while Jon Boyer has assembled the accompanying 30-minute DVD. For a preview of what’s to come, check out Variables this month.

A new Xbox video game, branded as TransWorld SNOWboarding, is in the works, and was originally slated for release early this winter. Bobby Meeks was hooked up for artificial simulation, and Brenner Adams, formerly behind snowaccess.com, has been involved in the production as well. The game will not only allow players to snowboard vicariously through the controller, but will feature voiceovers from recognized snowboard photographers Andy Wright and Nate Christenson and filmer Mike Bagnulo.

An endearing story is circulating that claims Blotto passed out–and not from the exhaustion brought on by extensive team travel–in a baby’s crib in Salt Lake. Waking the next morning, he was unnerved to find himself surrounded by numerous plush and cuddly stuffed animals. We’ll just say this information is only somewhat accurate in order to “pacify” his ego.

Low Idle

In start-up news, Greg Wilson and Chauncey Tanton were set to give rise to a clothing company, tentatively titled Gallium (not to be confused with Galleon, which is a new snowboard company started by Nate Sheehan). But the latest is that it’s doubtful Gallium will get off the ground. Kris and Greg Swierz’s ee getting a pro model of his own on Rossignol. Its first public appearance is set for SIA in January.

Andreas Wiig reportedly turned down a big offer from Sessions to ride for Planet Earth.

Split signed Stacey Burke and Roberta Rodger to its team. Ride’s Justin Mooney is recovering from a broken ankle suffered at a park shoot in Mammoth, and Ali Goulet is said to be bringing his knee back to life and doing well.

If you can remember Apocalypse Snowboards, then you may remember Jason Beaton. After moonlighting as a photographer for the past few years, and getting married then divorced one month later, Beaton is claiming comeback.

Win, Lose, Or Draw

Investing his capital for a golden future, Andrew Crawford bought a tanning salon in Salem, Oregon. You’d think a more educated bet would’ve been in a sunscreen company, considering his propensity to turn lobster red with the slightest exposure to that mean ol’ summer sun. Todd Richard’s newest nickname for Crawford is “Tandrew Charford.” What’s funnier than that is that Andrew’s said to be laughing all the way to the bank.

Haole to you, too … Erik “The Mule” Leines had a shared moment of aloha while surfing Lower Trestles in July. Dropping in on a local, he felt he was less in the wrong on the right. Unfortunately, Mule did it a second time to the same guy, who surfed him down, tackled him, and consequently held him under. And while we’re on the topic, is Erik on Elevation or Ride? It just might be the latter, according to one of his team managers, though another suggested Burton could use a strong North American. There’s yet been no “official word.”

Someone seems to have forgotten that snowboarders are a bunch of illiterate punks, because there’re a rash of books coming out. Former TransWorld Editor Eric Blehm is heading up production for a history of DC Shoe Co. And he has assigned, of all people, TWSB Associate Editor Joel Muzzey to write up the life and times of T.R. Burton’s finest are also hard at work on an askewed view of Snowboarding Inside Out. Eric Kotch, along with photographer Jeff Curtes and Jared Eberhardt (formerly of JDK and Medium), is large and in charge of the project titled Blower, while Jon Boyer has assembled the accompanying 30-minute DVD. For a preview of what’s to come, check out Variables this month.

A new Xbox video game, branded as TransWorld SNOWboarding, is in the works, and was originally slated for release early this winter. Bobby Meeks was hooked up for artificial simulation, and Brenner Adams, formerly behind snowaccess.com, has been involved in the production as well. The game will not only allow players to snowboard vicariously through the controller, but will feature voiceovers from recognized snowboard photographers Andy Wright and Nate Christenson and filmer Mike Bagnulo.

An endearing story is circulating that claims Blotto passed out–and not from the exhaustion brought on by extensive team travel–in a baby’s crib in Salt Lake. Waking the next morning, he was unnerved to find himself surrounded by numerous plush and cuddly stuffed animals. We’ll just say this information is only somewhat accurate in order to “pacify” his ego.

Low Idle

In start-up news, Greg Wilson and Chauncey Tanton were set to give rise to a clothing company, tentatively titled Gallium (not to be confused with Galleon, which is a new snowboard company started by Nate Sheehan). But the latest is that it’s doubtful Gallium will get off the ground. Kris and Greg Swierz’s endeavor, 93-94, is gaining momentum (jeans are back to stay). Jerry Tucker and Trevor Dunnett started a skate-deck company called Renegade. 4ce snowboard boots, started by a couple of former Vans employees, has signed Jason Brown with a possible pro-model boot in the works.

Out Of Bounds

The fat lady has sung for Brad Scheuffele, who sent out his resignation letter at the beginning of the summer to a who’s who list of snowboarding, thanking everyone for making it “one hell of a ride.” His next steps? Well, trademarking his signature haircut might be smart. The royalties could be worth more than those from a pro-model board. Jason Murphy was released from Analog, but has been talking outerwear with Bonfire. Jaime MacLeod got the official heave-ho from Burton¿by mail, no less.

The residents of the Blue Lodge in Plymouth, New Hampshire found themselves homeless at the end of school last year. Remaining lodge-ites Andy Benhardt, Luke Mathison, Paul Miller, and Matt Ruby will be living this coming season in the same Plymouth State College student apartment once inhabited by their fellow BL/PSC alumni Mike Parziale and Preston Strout. But the White Mountain Snowboard Camp, officially the purpose of the Blue Lodge, may or may not continue throughout this year. Parziale might also move the entire operation to California. “Just the mini ramp will survive us,” stated Benhardt.B> endeavor, 93-94, is gaining momentum (jeans are back to stay). Jerry Tucker and Trevor Dunnett started a skate-deck company called Renegade. 4ce snowboard boots, started by a couple of former Vans employees, has signed Jason Brown with a possible pro-model boot in the works.

Out Of Bounds

The fat lady has sung for Brad Scheuffele, who sent out his resignation letter at the beginning of the summer to a who’s who list of snowboarding, thanking everyone for making it “one hell of a ride.” His next steps? Well, trademarking his signature haircut might be smart. The royalties could be worth more than those from a pro-model board. Jason Murphy was released from Analog, but has been talking outerwear with Bonfire. Jaime MacLeod got the official heave-ho from Burton¿by mail, no less.

The residents of the Blue Lodge in Plymouth, New Hampshire found themselves homeless at the end of school last year. Remaining lodge-ites Andy Benhardt, Luke Mathison, Paul Miller, and Matt Ruby will be living this coming season in the same Plymouth State College student apartment once inhabited by their fellow BL/PSC alumni Mike Parziale and Preston Strout. But the White Mountain Snowboard Camp, officially the purpose of the Blue Lodge, may or may not continue throughout this year. Parziale might also move the entire operation to California. “Just the mini ramp will survive us,” stated Benhardt.