To preface this last edition of Lifestyles Of The Sponsored, Shameless, And Sometimes Nameless, we’d like to apologize to anyone we may have misrepresented or offended throughout the season. Yeah, right! Anyway, let’s see what’s going on … On his way to Chile, Salomon’s Kyle Clancy couldn’t manage to make it through security without setting off the sensors, so he had to get the usual scan by the wand. They figured it was just his belt buckle, but as the security girl began scanning him, Kyle ended up losing not only his pants but his boxers as well, thanks to a little help from Will Gilmore. The girl started screaming, “Oh my god! I didn’t see anything!” as she ran into the back room never to be seen again. His friends stood there laughing as Kyle ended up getting through with a mild scan from a guy standing pretty far away. On the same trip, new Salomon/Bonfire rider Espen Arvesen had the opportunity to join the mile-high club with some Argentinean vixen who desperately wanted his “viking sword.” Unfortunately, however, he didn’t have the proper accessories handy. We heard he still had a good make-out session, though. Thirty-two Team Manager Eddie Lee had his hands full on a recent trip to Austria. When things seemed like they couldn’t get any worse, they did. He’d had it with all the bitching and whining that had been going on, so when he looked down at one point to see a M-60 bounce off his foot and blow up right in front of him, that was it. A high-pitched tone rang in his ears from the loud bass of the explosion, and all he could do was walk away to blow his steam. Wille Luoma, the culprit, followed behind Eddie apologizing and saying it was an accident. Finally Eddie turned around and said, “Wille, get the f-k away from me. Do you understand I can’t even hear you right now?” Luckily Wille took the hint and left him alone-otherwise he might’ve experienced a bit of an ass kicking. Lukas Huffman stopped through Chicago on his way from Montpelier, Vermont to Whistler. There he met up with Nitro rep Andrew Pettis and Sales Manager Kris Kuster for the blowout video premiere at the House of Blues. Lukas was seen having quite a good time on the dance floor-so good, in fact, that he went late into the evening, only to wake up with no wallet, no ID, and no idea what had happened. Speaking of the windy city, Romain De Marchi, who’s now riding for Burton, was recently escorted out of the Chicago airport after being caught … uh … “caressing the rooster” in the women’s restroom. He joins Jussi Oksanen, Gigi RÅf, Stefan Gimpl, Michi Albin, and Terje Haakonsen to round out the Burton European slaughterhouse of freestyle snowboarding. RenÇ Hansen, former Airwalk team manager, has been appointed Burton’s European team manager. He will be working out of the European headquarters in Innsbruck, Austria, where the first and only Burton retail store of Europe is now open.Dave Sypniewski, former senior editor of this fine publication, joins Burton Team Manager Blotto as team coordinator and will be based out of the new West Coast office. Seventeen-year-old Kelly Clark from Rhode Island is the newest member on the snowboard team, and J.P. Solberg and Mads Jonsson signed with the notorious Burton rookie team. Also leaving TransWorld SNOWboarding is Associate Editor Nathan Yant, who will be filming full-time for Mack Dawg Productions as well as staying on as a TWS field editor. Da Kine is proud to announce the addition of Chris Engelsman to its team. To check out the rest of the team, go to www.dakine.com. Chris has his own Web site as well at www.chrisengelsman.com. Electric welcomes Nate Bozung as the newest addition to their family, Scotty Goodale of Salt Lake City, Utah has joined the pro team of Option-NFA, and World Industries signed Max Jenke. James Ledford and Matt Hammer signed multiyear agreements with Sessions as Snowboarding Elite Team Members. However, Tara Dakides left Sessions for Billabong, her new clothing spponsor.Blue Montgomery is no longer K2’s team manager, the role has been turned over to Brian Craig Hill. And rumor has it Jeff Brushie’s starting his own underground board line. Stay tuned for more … Bluebird Wax’s pro team for this season consists of Kurt Wastell, Travis Parker, Bryan Iguchi, Chris Engelsman, Lance Pitman, Willie McMillon, Nic Drago, Justin Mooney, Brandon Ruff, Rob Kingwill, Rob Duncan, Jay Nelson, and Carsten Bahnson. To find out who’s on Faction Denim’s snow team, check out www.factiondenim.com. And then there were four: MIA’s team roster this year is made up of Nick Franke, Eric Kovall, Brian Barb, and Helli Wacker. Helli, of Lermoos, Austria, has been hiding out, working, and planning his return to the States. After losing his driver’s license and being followed by government officials, rumors flew about his whereabouts. Helli needs to return to the States, but can’t under his real name Helmut Wacker. The MIA team office is open for alias name suggestions as well as any other documented transcontinental stealth mission accomplishments. Send ideas to Jamie Chomo at P.O. Box 99430, Seattle, Washington, 98199. In other MIA team news, besides designing the new MIA Destroyer and TRS series of decks, Nick has developed a site devoted to three-dimensional snowboard resort park-design at www.3dparkdesign.com. It features up-to-date experimental-design models and existing projects. Todd Richards not only got engaged to his lady Lindsy, but he’s also been taking acting classes in Hollywood for an upcoming movie where he plays an injured X-Games athlete in a wheelchair. Clive packed on the pounds for the holidays with the Holiday Food Drive to benefit the North County Food Bank of San Diego. The record donation of 30,000 pounds of nonperishable food will sustain the food bank for six months. Nice job! For all you gals out there looking for other females to ride with, check out www.femaleridersclub.com. And for anyone who’s interested in taking a mountain vacation and likes a deal, check out the packages at www.SKI.com. Until next year, have a great rest of the season and enjoy your summer!