Tiny Type 14.3

Welcome back to Lifestyles of the Sponsored, Shameless, and Sometimes Nameless … this is by far the juiciest edition yet. The biggest news on the scene this month is what started out as a simple birthday party complete with water balloons and fireworks at a couple of the team houses in Government Camp, and ended in complete anarchy. The Ratskeller, a local bar serving one-dollar beers for “someone’s” birthday that particular night, is where the mayhem seemed to escalate. Nate Bozung–go figure, he’s only eighteen–among others, were kicked out of the Rat for being drunken assholes, and some crazy guy supposedly pulled nunchuks on Peter Line in the parking lot. A “ski” van was burned out and had its windows smashed in by drunk snowboarders, several stolen go-carts were raced around before being crashed into ditches, and numerous cop cars and a fire truck arrived to put out the flames.

We know a lot of people have been accused in this big mess– there are rumors of certain individuals being banned from a well- established snowboard camp–and no one knows exactly what went on, but there’s still one thing we just can’t get out of our minds. Where the hell were the Green Cowboy and Palmer?

In a separate incident that same night in Government Camp, Kevin English and TW SNOW Senior Photographer Embry Rucker got into a brawl. Kevin thought it would be funny to throw water balloons at Embry’s rental car when all of a sudden Embry E-braked to a stop, got out of his car, and threw Kevin to the ground. Once he had Kevin in a vulnerable position, he picked him up and told him he was only joking. Although it was fun and games, Kevin managed to hurt his foot in the process. So when Embry got back into his car to drive away, Kevin hucked yet another water balloon, which entered through the car window and broke all over the stereo. Once again, Embry squealed to a stop, jumped out, and with the help of Janna Mayen and Billy Anderson, pantsed Kevin and dragged him down the street. The next morning Kevin made Scotty Wittlake drive him to the hospital for his foot because he couldn’t walk, let alone ride. Tonino Copene’s remark to Kevin was, “If you get beat up by Rucker, you’ve got serious problems.”

Speaking of Billy Anderson, during his annual party at local Mammoth bar The Beach, Billy and his brother Jeff started a friendly game of “ripping off your bro’s shirtsleeves.” This quickly escalated and spread throughout the bar, resulting in Billy getting thrown out of his own party.

Billy’s twelve-year-old best friend and Morrow am Curtis Ciszek knocked himself out skateboarding. And if that wasn’t bad enough, he ended up puking all night. It’s tough being tough.

Allian teamrider Todd Schlosser can’t wait to skate these days. Workers putting the final touches on a local skatepark near his Seattle home told him it would be ready in a couple of days. So Todd and his friends went back after those couple of days, “negotiated” some fencing, and started skating. Thirty minutes into their session, a very red-faced, slightly out of breath, pissed-off police officer pulled up and arrested them. The officer had just returned from chasing down some other trespassing skaters on foot–unsuccessfully. Bad timing. Todd was charged with criminal trespassing and was sentenced to building ramps for the local YMCA as his community service. Times have changed.

To aid in his quest to hit every California KOA Campground, Santa Cruz’s Darren Cingel bought a big-s camper for his big-ass Chevy truck. Too bad his radiator couldn’t handle all the big asses one hot valley day, forcing Darren, his girl Nikki, and his pup Jake to blast the heat so the engine wouldn’t overheat. Sweaty and defeated, they had no other choice but to abandon their camper shell at a highway rest stop near Sacramento to avoid the engine seizing. Little guy, big truck, bad luck.

The number-one reason you should not let Morrow’s Tyler Lepore borrow your snowmobile is that he can’t ride one. Tyler borrowed Max Jenke’s sled and was riding it on a steep face when it died. The right ski hit a pothole, kicked him off, and sent him flying. The snowmobile tumbled toward him and he tried to grab it, but missed. It did finally come to a rest, though, and managed to start up again. We suppose it could’ve been worse–it could’ve been Tyler’s.

In Airwalk team news, after Team Manager René Hansen wrote countless letters to the Norwegian government, Roger Hjelmstadstuen was released from the army for two weeks to go to Mt. Hood. Roger was not looking forward to returning to Norway, where he had to wake up every morning at 6:00 a.m. to clean his room as well as the rooms of 35 other guys.

Seth Huot was charging full speed at Mt. Hood to hit a kicker when some guy flew out of the pipe and knocked him out–he was completely unconscious when he took off from the kicker. He’s okay, though.

Fredrik Sarvell, on the other hand, suffered a third-degree separation in his shoulder after not landing a fourteen-foot air to fakie. His ankle was already slightly injured, so he was only doing backside airs, frontside airs, and airs to fakie all day long. When it came time to go fourteen feet out, his ankle couldn’t handle the compression and his elbow hit the wall, separating his shoulder. At first he thought his shoulder just popped out and wanted René and teammate Romain De Marchi to pop it back in, but they were too scared of damaging the ligaments. It’s a good thing, because the doctor said that would’ve completely damaged his shoulder–close call.

Fredrik ended up having surgery, which went so well he even managed to hook up with some Swedish girl in the hospital, who was having strange dreams about Fredrik and herself riding together because of all the drugs they gave her. Now Fredrik has a screw sticking out of his shoulder, which will be there for three months. With the proper training, however, he should be riding again when the screw is taken out. At least he got an interview.

And last but certainly not least in Airwalk news, Tero Ainonen pulled the largest air on a quarterpipe at Hemesdal, Norway, this year–it was nine-and-a-half meters high (over 27 feet)! Some people who were there are claiming Ingemar Backman is no longer the titleholder–but we’re still waiting on photos.

Europe’s first official combined motocross/boardercross competition took place at Stryn, Norway. Log on to Marius Sommer’s Web site www.crossoverevents.com to find out more information about Crossover Competition 2000.

While on the subject of Web sites, let’s get this out of the way: Shaun Palmer is now claiming Fusion.com as his exclusive e-commerce and digital-entertainment sponsor. Tara Dakides, Andy Hetzel, and Jim Rippey join 250 other leading athletes on Athletesdirect.com.

Longtime industry guru and Clive mastermind Tim Swart, a.k.a. The Executive, is releasing his second album in the fall titled, Raised By Crocodiles, featuring notorious MC SNP5000 (TransWorld contributing photographer Scott Needham).

JF Pelchat’s luggage was lost on his way to Mayerhoffen, Austria, with TransWorld contributing photographer Scott Serfas. He stopped in Innsbruck with the 400 dollars he received from the airline to buy all new duds. Later that evening he showed up at the bar wearing a new Hugo Boss shirt, nice slacks, and a pair of Italian leather shoes. Having to look good, he spent all his money on one slick outfit and borrowed snowboard gear for the week. His bags eventually showed up a few days later.

That was really just a preview of what was to come for Serfas, however. As you may have read in the last issue, all his camera equipment was stolen from right outside his very own house–visit his Web site at scottserfas.com to see what he plans on doing next.

Marc Frank, Mikey LeBlanc, Brian Thien, Andrew Crawford, JF Pelchat, Lukas Huffman, and Ruben Sanchez just got back from Mayerhoffen, Austria, where they were completely shut out. It rained the entire week they were there and the boards never came out of the bags–no shredding whatsoever! They tried to occupy as much time as possible skateboarding, racing go-carts, and drinking–boredom played a huge factor. On their way back home, they all went to get something to eat at the Atlanta airport and couldn’t make up their minds. Then Marc said, “When in Rome, do as the Romans do.” And so everyone ate fried chicken–and that ends this edition of Lifestyles of the Sponsored, Shameless, and Sometimes Nameless.d, Raised By Crocodiles, featuring notorious MC SNP5000 (TransWorld contributing photographer Scott Needham).

JF Pelchat’s luggage was lost on his way to Mayerhoffen, Austria, with TransWorld contributing photographer Scott Serfas. He stopped in Innsbruck with the 400 dollars he received from the airline to buy all new duds. Later that evening he showed up at the bar wearing a new Hugo Boss shirt, nice slacks, and a pair of Italian leather shoes. Having to look good, he spent all his money on one slick outfit and borrowed snowboard gear for the week. His bags eventually showed up a few days later.

That was really just a preview of what was to come for Serfas, however. As you may have read in the last issue, all his camera equipment was stolen from right outside his very own house–visit his Web site at scottserfas.com to see what he plans on doing next.

Marc Frank, Mikey LeBlanc, Brian Thien, Andrew Crawford, JF Pelchat, Lukas Huffman, and Ruben Sanchez just got back from Mayerhoffen, Austria, where they were completely shut out. It rained the entire week they were there and the boards never came out of the bags–no shredding whatsoever! They tried to occupy as much time as possible skateboarding, racing go-carts, and drinking–boredom played a huge factor. On their way back home, they all went to get something to eat at the Atlanta airport and couldn’t make up their minds. Then Marc said, “When in Rome, do as the Romans do.” And so everyone ate fried chicken–and that ends this edition of Lifestyles of the Sponsored, Shameless, and Sometimes Nameless.