“Women who barely speak English are a lot more attractive.”¿Danny Kass, from his trip to Norway and the Arctic Challenge.

“Even if there were asses out there to kiss, I wouldn’t kiss ‘em.”¿Jon Kramer, on finding a new board sponsor.

“It increases my odds; I’m preapproved.”¿J2′s explanation for sporting a fake wedding ring at the bars.

“Let me tell you one thing about my ass: it’s all bark and no bite.”¿Associate Editor Cody Dresser, on his gas.

“Snowblades are a good time.”¿Jesse Huffman, feeling good.

“As soon as I’m standing up straight … kicked in the nuts.”¿ Associate Editor Joel Muzzey, on his life and times.

“All of a sudden Mammoth is a drunk town.”¿Gabe Taylor, lamenting over his former hometown after last season’s influx of East Coasters.

“You need to start doing quotes.”¿Mikey LeBlanc, brilliant.