Pipe Down

All the negativity and crap about upper management in the magazine is just Dave Sypniewski trying to spread a bunch of propaganda to make people as miserable as he is. Dave’s been milking his once-pro status for way too long, and we’re not trying to be the straw that broke the camel’s back, but he was never all that good at snowboarding in the first place. And you know what? He’s a big a sellout who talks more shit than anyone. We’re frickin’ over it. If there’s anyone in snowboarding who needs a Pipe Down, it’s Sypniewski.

Name: Dave Sypniewski

Age: 28 years old–yep, he’s 28, not 24 like he constantly claims.

Sponsors: A long time ago Vans, GNU, Fishpaw, and Wave Rave gave him stuff, but now only the vending machine in the break room helps him out.

Transworld Office M.O.:Walks around the office like he’s the head honcho, constantly writes Launches about himself, says he’s going to quit every other day. His office is a pigsty and he smells like coffee, booze, and b.o. If a pro or advertiser is visiting, Dave insults them until they leave.

Overheard Saying:

“Shem, I don’t know about that photo–here, use this one I shot.”

“These captions suck, Nate. I’ll do them.”

“Morton, you hippie, design those pages with black backgrounds.”

Recommendation:

First off, Dave isn’t the photo editor, even though he took a couple of out-of-focus photos. Second, what kind of editor has to use spell check to find out how to spell the word “stupid”? And third, Dave sure as hell didn’t get a degree in graphic design from college–he didn’t even graduate from high school.

But just giving him a Pipe Down is letting him off easy. In fact, with all the talking Dave does about quitting, we just want to get rid of him, but we’re not sure if that’s what the readers want.

So, were putting the axe in your hands. Write us a letter, and tell us why you think Dave should either be:

A. Fired.

B.Given a raise.

C.Come out of a forced retirement.

D.None of the above. I don’t even care about this Sniffglueski guy.

By the time Dave sees this Pipe Down, it’ll be too late for him to change it, so go ahead and write in. His career is now is your hands–feels good, doesn’t it?

Send letters to TransWorld Media c/o “Dave Is No Ernest Hemingway” or “Dave Is The Best Thing To Happen To This World Since Sliced Bread” 353 Airport Road, Oceanside, California 92054.

Anyone who sends in a letter will receive a limited-edition Dump Sypniewski T-shirt. The person who sends in the best letter will also get a free subscription to TransWorld SNOWboarding and a TransWorld SNOWboarding hooded sweatshirt.