The sound of an MDP east coast movie tour sounds fun right? I prefer the term f—king awesome! So here we go. The trip got off to a mellow start; I only had to switch airlines, and then fly into the southern half of our beautiful country when I needed to be in New England, and on top of that I was tardy. Kind of par for the course these days. Providence is where I ended up meeting with Shaun McKay and super TM, Will Redd. On the positive side, it turns out our rent-a-wreck came pre stained so that’s one concern checked off the list. Providence Rhode Island is a cool place. However it’s even cooler when you pull up to a stop light around midnight and the Cadillac next to you is pushing 100 spoke wheels, and it’s even more mind blowing when that same vehicle hits the switches, and simulates the sound of being shot at. The moment of clarity soon followed our laughter, when we realized both vehicles had their windows open and we were not shy about our comic relief, and we all assumed guns were good accessories for gangster ass rides.
The next day started with some good ol’ fashion rehab and then we met our counter parts S-C-O Dubs, Bryan Fox, Brian Craighill, Quicksilver tour bus driver MO Daddy, Joe Carlino, and (half the man power of People) Cory, and Pierre. We had plenty of time to kill before the premier so we took part in a right of passage—we were food court gangsters briefly at the local mall. Then we did what any civil, of age, mall lurker would do. What better way to boost moral than to spend hours upon hours at Dave & Busters (adult arcade). This is where the real action took place, our credit cards were charged, fake gold jewelry was awarded, and the sugar buzz was all time. Straight from there it was a confusing, direction asking, trek to the theater.
The usual happened, posters were signed, fans reminisced about Scotty drawing male genitalia on their posters the year prior, names were botched during the autograph frenzy, the movies played and the free product was flowing. It was like a savage Dave Mathews Band concert, and fun was had by all.
Then the real Providence players came out of the woodwork, we left the theater and headed straight to the Fezz. It was a legit pirate bar complete with nothing but red lights, dead animal décor, a bitchy bartender, a sticky floor, and a kick ass Harry Potter pinball machine. The beer of choice was Schlitz and drinks were being consumed at a staggering pace, seeing as how the bar closed twenty minutes after we arrived. Finally we got the boot from the bar and the oh so friendly bartender babe went on operation “take drink from Pierre, needless to say it was mission accomplished, and we were on the prowl for more fun—besides it was only 1 a.m. Two lovelies named Lanolin and Hair Dresser Babe took us under their wing and tried to corrupt us. However we were not having it, but Cory ended up slaying the dragon and he ate it for breakfast. Nice work guys!
Hello Massachusetts, we come in peace, and I’m pretty sure no one is a Yankees fan. So if you understand the magnitude of Scotty Arnold’s “anything Boston, New Era Hat collection you would know this is where his roots are, that or it’s a massive front and we’re going to kick his ass later. This is where we entered toll-booth country. So if buying a car and affording gas was a stretch for you then don’t think of driving on the turnpike—you’ll go broke.
We stopped for some culture in Boston and checked out the trendy part of the shopping district, and coincidentally passed 45 Dunkin Doughnuts. Weird! So back on the road to Arlington, the “Jewel of the East according to Weldon. We successfully got lost more times than Nelly was played on the local radio station. And his song all about chains totally sucks!
The premiers were kick ass, we were slightly late for the first one of the evening due to our awesome directional skills, and lack of food, but we managed to make it happen. The second showing was super fun, all the people who showed up were eager to see totally sweet movies and they were hyped on the fact that we had so many posters to sign and give out to everyone. The movies showed and finally the big product toss was on, pandemonium set in with the crowd and that was the first 5 minutes. When it came time to give the new snowboard away participants weren’t going to give up on our fitness challenge. The last person to survive the standing squat contest was going to be awarded the board. People have literally fallen over walking off the stage because their legs are so drained, so this definitely is a challenge. The guy who won the board had some serious heart.
We cleaned up the mess and then headed back to the hotel because the town of Arlington is a “dry town, and no I don’t smoke weed so when I say, “dry, think of prohibition idiot.
This being our last day on the east coast it was only proper for Shaun and I to get ample amounts of sleep on our three hour commute to Albany NY. Shaun’s aunts, uncles, and cousins came up to the premier from New York City and it was a mini family reunion. (Who ever booked all the stops on the tour booked some sweet ass theaters; this one was at The Egg) This is located right at the State Capital building, and they spared no expense building this public landmark. As you can guess the theater was huge, and very impressive.
After the movies played most of the kids came out to the commons and hung out with us and shot the shit. We were invited to this going away, house party at some local guys place. We were all aboard the party express, and if I forgot to mention we were dressed a little out of the Albany dress code but those are minor details (I get it, your parents don’t understand you. Troubled youth … got it. Rock on! Or maybe cry? Whatever) En route to the shin-dig I did a little investigating with our link to the party, asking about the fiesta and about the band that was playing in the basement. It sounded like they should be selling tickets to this thing, and when I asked if we should stop at the liquor store to bring some beer his reply included, “Don’t worry we have whatever you want, anything! I began to think that this wasn’t exactly my kinda party, especially when he leaned in to my ear and whispered, “If anyone asks, you’re here with Wally (or something). But we gave it a try and sure enough I saw a large baggy filled with pills, someone walking out of the mosh pit with a busted nose, and we received a whole lot of stares. So we decided to split and walk about twenty blocks down to a happenin bar. Started mellow, but soon escalated when Pierre and Scotty started buying shots of whiskey—they were not taking no for an answer.
We were all smart enough to realize that our flights home were leaving a little after 6 a.m. and we knew that the bars in NY closed at 3 a.m. So, we put two and two together, and made the coherent decision to not sleep. We pulled the classic all-nighter. And with that being said, I will leave you to assume that we enjoyed our night at the crappy, yet awesome nightclub, and a certain someone enjoyed the local dames! Thanks to 686, Quicksilver, MDP and all who took part in the pre-winter merrymaking.