Letters Vol. 13 Num. 4

13#4 Letters

To all you fresh-ass mofos out there who sent us letters, thanks a lot, but you know what? Only two of you get the goods from Betty Rides and Wave Rave. So if your letter didn’t win this time, try bribing us and your chances will improve. And the winners this month are–drum roll please–angry dad Mr. Jay Jones, and Esther “I have to pee” Johnson.

Nothing In Life Is Free

I’m a second-year snowboarder, along with my wife. At the ripe old age of 25 I was introduced to the sport by a salesman at our local extreme-sports store and ended up putting a snowboard on layaway. We have three kids, and I buy all my own shit. What is the deal with all these crying, sniveling kids I read about in your magazine begging for gear? Get a job, get a f–ing job. Nothing in life is free. This is a lesson these kids obviously haven’t learned. Keep up the good work.

Jay Jones

Albuquerque, New Mexico

We totally know how you feel. We have to scrape to get by every month, and if it weren’t for our wealthy parents, we wouldn’t be able to pay the insurance on our Land Rovers. Accept our humble prize courtesy of the kind people at Wave Rave.

I Have To PEE

I was recently reading the poems in your magazine and decided that many of them were pretty bad, so I thought I’d to write one of my own. So, here it goes:

SKI PATROL

Ski Patrol, Ski Patrol, where could you be?

I’ve been sitting on this mountain since half past three.

The sky is darkening.

The toilet is harkening.

And I just can’t get down this hill.

I hope you liked it.

Esther Johnson

Kamas, Utah

We’ve always assumed all snowboarding mommas from Utah were free from actually having to go to the potty. We would like to reward your honesty with product from Betty Rides–enjoy!

Rocky Mountain High

What up? My name is Chris and I live in Fort Collins, Colorado. It was a slow Tuesday afternoon at work when I began to read through the latest issue of SPIN where I ran across an article on The Chemical Brothers and their latest album Surrender. I instantly became torqued when I ran across a quote from Rowlands, one of the Brothers, referring to their new album, saying, “There’s nothing on this album for snowboarders.” What the hell kind of ignorant thing is that to say? I have been nothing but supportive of the Chem. Brothers since forevers. The Chemical Brothers have always brought it to another level for me–they rock! Their new album melts my mind–I don’t know why they would say that because I ride a snowsled, there wouldn’t be anything on there for me. Well, I hope the Chemical Brothers don’t ever go snowboarding, ’cause there’s nothing on the hill for them!

Thanks for letting me vent.

Chris Ravana

Chrismail@rocketmail.com

Chris, techno is wack. Techno is wack. Techno is wack. Techno is wack. Techno is wack.

Who Cares

I’m writing to tell you that the weather is getting better over here in Michigan. We are finally getting some good snow; whenever we used to get snow, it would just melt away real quick. We’re getting some really good snow, but it’s not quite as good as Colorado, Alaska, or British Columbia. I just thought I would tell you about the weather.

Tylon Friar

Haslett, Michigan

Tylon, thanks for filling us in. We’re canceling our subscription to the Weather Channel and booking a flight to Michigan. Ask your mom if it’s cool that we stay the night.

Stupid Is As Stupid Does

I am still not completely sure if your article on how to make a jibbing board in the “Yellow Snow” seion of your March ’99 issue is serious. The moment I laid eyes on it, I said, “You would have to be a complete idiot to do that to your board,” so I did it. I was so stoked to see an article on how to “improve” my snowboard. I have been thinking about writing in and asking advice on what to do my board for some time. My board may not look as nice anymore–hell, it may look downright crappy, but at least now I can call it my jibbing board.

Riley Trickey

Springerville, Arizona

Hey bro, I was tricked into cutting down my snowboard during the heyday of jibbing in South Lake Tahoe, and I can’t even begin to remember how many powder runs I blew by staying on the groomed runs and buttering. I’m sorry that Michael Lucas and David Sypniewski led you to believe that jibbing boards are the latest trend. So to make this wrong a right, I’m sending you one of my old boards. Next time, don’t do something to your board without consulting me first.–Nathan Yant

Ripped Off By Bro

This winter I started snowboarding and I love it. It has been the best thing that ever happened to me, but I have a huge problem: I bought a board from my friend, and the bindings keep breaking. Every time I go snowboarding, they break, and I have to spend all my time trying to fix them. I was wondering what you guys think I should do. By the way, your mag is going to save me from a very boring summer.

Dane Schmidt

Duluth, Minnesota

Friends can be hard to come by, so you probably don’t want to beat this kid up. A simple solution to your problem is to carry some duct tape with you when you ride. If the binding breaks, just duct tape your foot to the board–if you’re a small enough kid, it should hold.

Mad Props And Killer Pow-Pow.

I have got to give you dudes major props. This magazine is so spankin’ that I tell everyone about it. In the off season when I feel the urge to bust out my board and jump around like a crazed maniac, I open your mag, and stare forever at the pictures, and read and reread the articles several times. It seems to help, but there is still nothing like the real thing. I miss getting up at the break of dawn just so that I can get a whole day of riding in. It’s already the middle of summer and I am about ready to have a nervous breakdown from snowboarding withdrawal. Keep coming with the magazines–they rock.

Jackie Haad

Saginaw, Michigan

We’re totally glad that we could stoke you out. We get incredibly bored in the summertime, too. It’s all about keeping a positive vibe and just going with it.

What The World Needs More Of

Your magazine inspired me to start snowboarding when I saw all the pics of super hotties doing spiffy tricks. I admit it, it was a shallow reason to start snowboarding, but I’m a shallow person. So I ended up trying to snowboard and decided that I liked snowboarding for snowboarding, not just for the guys. I mean, snowboarding guys are yummy, but they all look like big colored marshmallows in their boarding clothes. Oh well, they still look hot. Anyway, I’m working hella hard at becoming a shred betty, and I just wanted to tell you guys thanks for running all those great articles and pictures of guys.

Becky

BeckyLca@aol.com

Becky, you got into the sport for all the right reasons. Thanks for keepin’ it real.

Saved From Conformity

I recently graduated high school this year and decided to go to Mt. Hood for vacation. You see, I was supposed to ship out for the Army two weeks later, and this was to be my final thrill. It was a blast until I blew out my ACL anterior cruciate ligament. This automatically got me discharged and destroyed a brilliant four-year plan. With my monthly income and the GI Bill I was going to pay for a new vehicle, four years’ of school, and some new bindings.

Now, with this torn ACL, I can’t board until late spring, and I am permanently disqualified from the military. It looks like I’m going to have to find another source of income and watch the new Mack Dawg video all winter.

It’s funny how a three-day trip, which was supposed to fulfill one of my dreams, destroyed another dream and permanently altered the next four years of my life.

Steven Colunga

Odgen, Utah.

You know what is really funny? It’s how shit works out for the best. Yeah, it sucks that your plans for the future have changed, but did you really want to get permanently brainwashed by the government for the next four years? Don’t be an idiot–you tore your ACL for a reason. Take out 20,000 dollars in student loans and have a blast.

Letters (which may be edited for clarity and space) should be sent in marked: Letter To The Editor, TransWorld SNOWboarding. By snail-trail mail: 353 Airport Rd., Oceanside, CA 92054. By FAX: (760) 722-0653. By electronic mail: snowletters@twsnet.com Those of you who have too much time on your hands and have access to the World Wide Web can post cyber-letters on transworldsnowboarding.com. Don’t be shy women, let your voice be heard!

e GI Bill I was going to pay for a new vehicle, four years’ of school, and some new bindings.

Now, with this torn ACL, I can’t board until late spring, and I am permanently disqualified from the military. It looks like I’m going to have to find another source of income and watch the new Mack Dawg video all winter.

It’s funny how a three-day trip, which was supposed to fulfill one of my dreams, destroyed another dream and permanently altered the next four years of my life.

Steven Colunga

Odgen, Utah.

You know what is really funny? It’s how shit works out for the best. Yeah, it sucks that your plans for the future have changed, but did you really want to get permanently brainwashed by the government for the next four years? Don’t be an idiot–you tore your ACL for a reason. Take out 20,000 dollars in student loans and have a blast.

Letters (which may be edited for clarity and space) should be sent in marked: Letter To The Editor, TransWorld SNOWboarding. By snail-trail mail: 353 Airport Rd., Oceanside, CA 92054. By FAX: (760) 722-0653. By electronic mail: snowletters@twsnet.com Those of you who have too much time on your hands and have access to the World Wide Web can post cyber-letters on transworldsnowboarding.com. Don’t be shy women, let your voice be heard!