Hard To Swallow
Yes! A new Vanilla Ice album! Call it a comeback if you will, because Robert Van Winkle (a.k.a. Vanilla Ice) is back in action with his latest release on Republic Records entitled Hard To Swallow.
This time around the Iceman has gone a little more “To The Extreme,” with new material that (according to the press release) can be described as “hardcore hip-hop.” Van Winkle enlisted the talents of producer Ross Robinson of Sepultura/Limp Bizkit fame, and in an attempt to mask his own lack of skills, hired real musicians. What does this combination sound like you ask? It basically sounds like Korn with really lame “white boy” rapping and cheesy lyrical content. Any highlights on this album can be contributed to the beefy guitar licks and loud drumming, which have nothing to do with Van Winkle himself.
But let’s hear what Ice has to say: “I was looking for a hard edge, something completely different, off-key, something that has not been done. It took a while to find it, but the good news is, we finally did. It’s not rock ‘n’ roll. It’s not heavy metal. It’s not hip-hop. It’s called ‘skateboard rock’ and only a handful of people are doing it.”
It seems Mr. Vanilla Ice, in a flailing attempt to target the alternative-sports market (you and me), is claiming “skate rock”! Can he be that clueless? What makes the guy think screaming “Ice Ice Baby” a little louder (track six) puts him in the same category as Henry Rollins? It doesn’t, and the early 90s nostalgia that surrounded Vanilla Ice seems to have melted into a puddle of milk that is truly “Hard To Swallow.”