No matter how pimp the cabin is, living quarters on your man trip will feel cramped at times. A little courtesy goes a long way when everyone is crammed in tighter and potentially smellier than LNP’s pants.
• Don’t empty the last of the fresh water and just walk away. That’s a bitch move. Refill it. Same goes for the coffee pot.
• Never wake a bro up early unless it’s bluebird.
• Leave your shaving kit at home, but feel free to bring deodorant.
• Don’t wake up in the middle of the night and piss on your cabin mates. Also don’t aim your dong through the half-open door and piss on the front step because you’re too lazy to put on your boots and step outside.
• Never hang your wet socks on a bro’s balaclava.
• If you absolutely must throw a sleeping bag speed-jack on the man trip, do so quietly and discreetly—no moaning.
• If you didn’t help cook dinner, you better help clean up after.
• Mix a drink or fetch a beer for the guys on firewood duty.
• Before you smoke one inside, get crew approval. Otherwise, go outside.
• Don’t attempt to wax your board using the heat of the woodstove.
• Don’t bogart every hook, nail, and drying spot to hang up your wet gear.
• Bring your own supply of toilet paper.
• Bringing your bongos on the trip is cool but unless your name is Mongo Santamaría, don’t play them for more than 15 minutes at a time—preferably before dudes are sleeping.
• The only “morning wood” your bros should see on the man trip belongs in the woodstove.
• Avoid total group blowout: Save the Indian food feast for the last night of the trip.
Safety First (Let’s get serious for a second)
• Avalanche Transceiver, Probe, And Shovel
Having this stuff means nothing if you don’t know how to use it properly according to your predetermined emergency action plan. When the shit hits the fan, you’re only as safe as the weakest link in your crew. Don’t be that guy.
• First Aid Trauma Kit
If your crew doesn’t include a rider with some legit first aid know-how, you could really be bumming. Be sure your appointed medic and/or first aid kit is with you at all times, easy to access, and loaded with sufficient supplies for the size of your crew.
• Satellite Phone
If you’re going to the right place for your trip, your cell phones aren’t going to work. No cell service means you’ll need a sat phone to reach safety services in the event of a disaster. Backcountry outfitters, mountaineering shops, and snowmobile shops are the best places to find a rental sat phone for your trip. Get this crucial lifeline, the emergency dialing sequence, and your game plan figured out in advance.
• GPS/Satellite Tracker
Everyone in the crew needs to share the man trip plan, location, and trip timeframe with someone who will notice if they don’t return. But your crew should also be able to pinpoint their whereabouts if something sketchy goes down. A mobile GPS unit allows you to give safety services your exact coordinates over the sat phone. Satellite tracker/messaging units like the ones made by SPOT and ElectroFlip make it even easier for you to check in and/or alert safety services if you need them.