Ask Dr. Marco

Read Up ‘Cause Dr. Marco Jus’ Left The Building-On Hiatus To Brazil Or Somethin’ …

Doctor Marco, how are babies made?

Thanks,

JP

The woman makes an appointment at Dr. Marco’s office-nine months later the baby comes out, heard!-MFM

You’re one of the biggest influences in my life. I have fifteen posters of you on my walls for inspiration. Your style is sick, and it has a huge effect on snowboarding in these times. Okay, there’s this girl and she used to like me, I guess, or whatever-women are crazy-and now she’s all over this other guy. It pisses me off because she really seemed into me. What should I do?

Brandon

Yo, thanks for the props, doggy! So what happened? It sounds like you took too long to hook it up when she was into you. What the hell were you doin’? You gotta make moves, man. You only had a five-minute window with that boy-crazy chicken head and you slept. Now you gotta move on to some next shit, ’cause there are 1,000 other ones just like her-and some of them know howta act right.-MFM

I’m unsure if I should buy some body armor or not-like padded shorts, and elbow and kneepads. Have you ever used armor? I’ve seen videos where guys tumble down a staircase and the next second they’re trying it again. Do those video dudes wear armor? Will they give me bigger balls in the park?

Edward

I’ve used shin guards on a couple crazy street rails, especially when I already had a bad shinner. And I know a whole bunch of pros who rock those padded shorts for the park. It mos’ def makes you feel more confident, but it can also feel bulky and weird, too! So, yeah, stay open-minded and see if you like it. Just don’t get caught out there wearin’ a whole iron-man body kit, all bulky and stiff and shit! You might not be able to grab-or even wipe your ass!-MFM

I’m a huge fan. I heard a few weeks ago that on your way over to Boulder, Colorado for a movie premiere you got pulled over a few times. The word is they nabbed you with mad cash and a gun. What’s the deal with that-was that for real?

Dave Oakes

Yeah, that was for real, and the story is kinda crazy. I only had a gun in the car because I was bringin’ it to Denver to go shootin’ with my Dad. And I had mad cash and a knife on me by accident. I forgot to deposit the money that morning, and I had the knife ’cause I was trying to fix something in my ride. The cops had me in their vehicle and they never checked my body-and let me go twice! That was a crazed, funny-ass day.-MFM

I’m from New Jersey and life sucks already, but dude, my best friend is movin’ to Hawai’i and my girl of three years is movin’ to Florida! Damn man, I don’t know what to do-I’m f-ked!

Jesse

Well, it could suck if you look at it that way … but don’t you have any backup chicks and other homeys? You needa take these times when you’re free from the ball and chain to do some things you always wanted to do. Move to Utah or Tahoe and ride some ill shit! Man, you gotta look at life in an opportunistic way all of the time. It’s all a blessing, yo!-MFM

I saw you and Andreas up at Mammoth opening weekend, and it was sick to see pros riding regardless of the conditions. But why weren’t you on your own pro model? Is there one you prefer over your own?

Aaron Garden

Naw, I was tryin’ this other really short Nitro jib board to test since there was nothin’ but jibs at that time. I didn’t want to ride my big 157 on little jibs all day. I liked that board, though, so I got ‘em to make me a super-wide 152 with a softer flex and a super-thin nose and tail-it’s so damn dope. People are gonna trip on it next year!-MFM

Doctor, I’ve been planning a spring-break trip to Tahoe for almost a year now. I want to come up see the terrain, the Block Hotel, and the fee-fees, fo’ sho’. Now all of a sudden, my girl at home is giving me headaches about going and even threats to not be there when I get back. Snowboarding is my first love, so I’m leaninng toward going anyway. What would you do?

One Love,

Mike

Oh, dude, now you gotta go! You gonna let that drama queen control your life? You have to go just so that she knows she doesn’t control you! The worst thing ever is when a coo’ dude lets some psycho control his life! Hopefully, she’s not there when you get back! And yes, there are hella fee-fees over there, fo’ sho’!-MFM