Ask Doctor Marco

For the record: The good Doctor Marco (a.k.a. Marc Frank Montoya) is neither black nor white-he’s a latino, ya heard!

Marc Frank, I’m tired of all your wannabe black shit. You aren’t black-get over it. I have to admit you’re damn good at snowboarding, but I think you would be hella cooler if you didn’t try to be so gangster.

Peace and love,

Shale

Ay girl, oh wait, I don’t even know if you’re a girl-maybe you just got a girl’s name, bitch, hahahahahhahah! Have you ever met me? Of course not, or you wouldn’t be makin’ yourself sound so stooopid. It’s funny how some people get the wrong impression of me because of how I talk-and then they meet me and find out I’m the nicest dude who ever walked the block.

And you know what, I am gangsta, hahhahha! Naw, but that’s real messed up you’re such a racist. What you’re saying is that since I’m always sayin’ and spellin’ the words wrong, I’m tryin’ to be black. So you think that all black people don’t know how to talk or spell, right? That’s messed up. You should be ashamed of yourself.-MFM

Doctor, I want to know something. You’re a pretty big guy and you ride a pretty small, wide board. Do you find that is the best way for backcountry riding? Does powder ridin’ have more to do with strength of the rider and width of the board, as opposed to length? I’m 6’3″ and 180 pounds and rocking a 164 centimeter board with a wide stance, but I’m thinking about downsizing to a 162. What do you think? And another thing, if someone kept Sims afloat, why didn’t you stay there? It’s cool you’re with Lukas again, though-you guys should push each other in the backcountry. Congratulations on moving over to Nitro-I bet they pay good (haha)! Oh, by the way, my woman wants to do you.

Ryan

Yeah man, I love wide boards. I gotta ride one anyway, ’cause I got big ol’ feet-but yo, my wide 157 feels like a 162 in the powder. It stomps crazy and floats soooo good! I don’t even know why people would want to ride a skinny board really, unless they’re all into carving or racing! Yeah, man, you should try it at least. A wider 160 or 162 would pr’y kill it for you.

About the switch to Nitro, man, I never knew how dope a company could be until I started meeting all the people over there who love snowboarding and know how to treat people. I’m not talkin’ jus’ about money neither, I’m talkin’ about truly bein’ an all-snowboarding company. Oh, and by the way, you should let her, hahhhha!

-MFM

Dude, why no big parts from you and Boznuts in One Love? And I didn’t see your new ’05/06 bindings at all in there. I just bought them yesterday-they are straight pimping! Does Boznuts even have a movie part this year?

Guy In The Netherlands

Yeah, dog, I got hurt a lot last year. Broken ribs and wrist, twisted my ankle and knee-and when I wasn’t hurt or doin’ contests, I was filmin’ for Burning Bridges, so I didn’t have any time to film for F.O.D.T. I was pissed about not filmin’ with them at all, but I’m’a do it this year for sure, though-they’re ill. And I don’t even know what up with Bozung. He was chillin’ with MTV at The Block Hotel for a minute, but that was the last time I saw ‘im! Yo, Bozung, “Where you at, foo’? Quit partyin’ and mackin’ hoes for a second, foo’-people are askin’ abouchooo, doot!”-MFM

Yo, Doc M, what up, homey? I first of all just wanted to say that you have to be one of the best shredders out there, and that’s no lie. I got a question for you, and you probably don’t even have to think about it. I’m still pretty young and late with the ladies-I was wonderin’ what someone of your high pimpness would say to get some hotties to go snowboarding? Since I’m sure you had this covered in, like, fourth grade. I hope to hear from you.

Dan Hayward

Ha, yeah, dog, I gotchu, homey! You jus’ gotta be confident and be doin’ your own thing already. When you wanna ask ’em to go, you gotta be goin’ already-whether they goin’ or not. You gotta be like “Yeah, I goin’ up ridin’ and partyin’, kickin’ up in the mountains. It’s gonna be dope. You girls wanna roll?” And act like you are doin’ them a favor by lettin’ ’em tag along!! ‘Cause really you are doin’ them a favor, anyway! You’ll pr’y even regret it if you gotta teach them how to ride all day!! And if they do want to go, you should have everything all lined up-like the hotel, places to eat, and all that. Women like the dude to be in charge, ya heard.-MFM

Dr. Marco, I met and rode with you this past summer down at Las Le§as, Argentina, and I must say your riding style blew my mind-you made everything look way too easy. It probably gets old hearin’ this, but you got mad steez. My question is when you’re hitting stuff with powder landings, do you find it easier to land a bigger, faster rotation or a slower, smaller one?

Colter from Massachusetts

Yo, whatup, doot. Yeah, Las Le§as was fun. I just wish we woulda got better weather, but whateverz. Yo, a slower rotation is always better lookin’ and most def’ easier to land in powder, no question.-MFM

Yo, Marco, what up, bruh? I’m looking into getting more ink, and I have an idea of what I want (stole the idea from some dude in a TW SNOW mag back in like ’98). It’s a sequence of somebody hitting a kicker-not crazy detail, just basic outline of the guy. So, seeing as your style is ruthless, I figured on getting a sequence of you. I bet you’re getting a li’l creeped out right now, but don’t sweat it man-it could be anyone. I just want it done right. Like, I don’t want one of the sequence shots to look like buddy’s arm is all bent crazy or any sort of window rollin’ going on. I want pure style.

Anyway, I can’t find many sequences of you and was hoping you could hook me up. You gotta have tons layin’ around. And another question I got for ya’ is what’re your top five CDs right now?

Be easy, son,

Paul Jennings

Yeah dog, that’s a good idea for a tattoo. I wish I could help you with that, but I don’t have any sequences of myself like that. I only have all the old mags packed up in boxes or whatever. That’s what you should do, though, is just ask friends for all their old mags and go huntin’ through those to find somethin’ ill. Here are my five faves right now.-MFM

Danger Doom/The Mouse And the Mask

Black Rob/The Black Rob Report

CzarNok/Pimp Tight

Nas/Godson

Jeru The Damaja/Wrath Of The Math

Yo, wut up, MFM? First, dude, I gotta give you mad props. I used to hear all this talk about you, but neva realized that there was talk for a reason. Ever since I watched the section of you in Big Bear’s movie No Big Deal, I started givin’ mad respect, man. It’s pretty sick because I neva knew what type of tricks I could pop on those little hops, but now you gave me some ideas, foo’! Damn, you’re my biggest inspiration now, for sho’! The Rail Jam at Big Bear sucked ’cause I’m too freakin’ young to go to the afta party and meet you. But seriously, my problem is being too cautious-I’m always tellin’ myself I can hit that beat-up Beetle up at The Park At Bear Mountain, but at the last second I bail out … any advice? And how do kids like Johnny Miller who got the first part in No Big Deal get noticed?

Rick

Ay, dog, thanks for them props. Yo, you just have to hit that Beetle without even thinkin’ about it-just do it. Just go straight at it with enough speed and crack an ollie onto it. After you slide straight over it, then you can start doin’ other sideways slides and stuff. It’s not that long of an obstacle, so if you end up wrecking you’ll pr’y just fall on the other side of it into the snow! Just watch someone else and do what they do-it won’t be hard, I promise.

As far as gettin’ noticed, that just comes automatically when you’re up there a lot, getting good, and practicing. Pretty soon you start meeting different people and ridin’ with them, and then people start talkin’. If you work at somethin’, things just start happening naturally, and then everything magically falls into place. Pretty soon you got a video part, and there ain’t no lookin’ back!-MFM

Yo, Marco, I have a lotta problems with weekend warriors comin’ up and invading my local hill and causin’ a lot of general mayhem. So my question for you is how can you snowboard with a piece on you and not have it get in the way all the time. I want it to be easily accessible in case I gotta show these little punks what’s up, but I don’t want it to be hindering my on-snow experience or have it visible to any ski patrollers.

Stefan

You’re jokin’, right? You don’t know how to fight? You best take some kick-boxing lessons or some shit. What a ridiculous question, man. And anyway, ain’t you supposed to be the one causin’ general mayhem?-MFM

Doctor Marco, first of all I wanna say that you are one of the baddest riders out there, and you are a big inspiration to me. Now here’s my problem: I found out I have cancer eight months ago, and because of the surgery and treatments, there’s a huge-ass chance that I will never be able to ride again. Now that I’m recovering, do you think I should still have hope that I’ll ever hit the slopes again?

Thanks, man, I appreciate it.

David

Ay, David, I’m real sorry you had to go through all that. I had a friend who went through probably the same thing. I most def think that you’ll be riding again-so yeah, keep the hopes high as hell. Use that hope to work hard at recovering, and then see how you feel. And if you feel at least halfway good, do it, and ride hard! I mean, if it came down to it, I know I would want to die snowboarding. What better way could you go if you had to?-MFM

verything magically falls into place. Pretty soon you got a video part, and there ain’t no lookin’ back!-MFM

Yo, Marco, I have a lotta problems with weekend warriors comin’ up and invading my local hill and causin’ a lot of general mayhem. So my question for you is how can you snowboard with a piece on you and not have it get in the way all the time. I want it to be easily accessible in case I gotta show these little punks what’s up, but I don’t want it to be hindering my on-snow experience or have it visible to any ski patrollers.

Stefan

You’re jokin’, right? You don’t know how to fight? You best take some kick-boxing lessons or some shit. What a ridiculous question, man. And anyway, ain’t you supposed to be the one causin’ general mayhem?-MFM

Doctor Marco, first of all I wanna say that you are one of the baddest riders out there, and you are a big inspiration to me. Now here’s my problem: I found out I have cancer eight months ago, and because of the surgery and treatments, there’s a huge-ass chance that I will never be able to ride again. Now that I’m recovering, do you think I should still have hope that I’ll ever hit the slopes again?

Thanks, man, I appreciate it.

David

Ay, David, I’m real sorry you had to go through all that. I had a friend who went through probably the same thing. I most def think that you’ll be riding again-so yeah, keep the hopes high as hell. Use that hope to work hard at recovering, and then see how you feel. And if you feel at least halfway good, do it, and ride hard! I mean, if it came down to it, I know I would want to die snowboarding. What better way could you go if you had to?-MFM