Summer Jobs … Summer Good, Summer Bad.

Well, it’s that time of year again, when the snow starts melting and Dad starts in about your non-job-having ass. And for once he might have a point. With season passes costing as much as an import car, you’ll have to start saving soon. But don’t worry, friend, you’re not alone in your job hunt–the Interns are here to help.

Like the garbage in Dresser’s office, once a year we’re thrown out of the building. While the “real” staff is off vacationing in Bora-Bora, we scurry in search of jobs that will pay us enough to afford our rent next season while we do all the work at the magazine–for free. This year, we decided to sit down and make a list of jobs we’d love to get–and ones to avoid at all costs. Some of which we thought you–John and Jane Shredinski–might find useful in your quest for summer employment.

Try To Get

Pool cleaner–Playboy Mansion.

Practice body–Massage school.

Oil applier–Calvin Klein underwear photo-shoot.

Roadie–Motörhead.

Baggage handler–United Airlines.

Pipe digger–Mt. Hood summer camp.

Photo intern–Rolling Stone.

 

Try To Avoid

Tank cleaner–Sewage treatment plant.

Cleanup boy/girl–JoJo’s Massage Emporium.

Oil remover–Rush Limbaugh’s back.

Roadie–Michael Jackson (especially those under the age of fifteen).

Bag handler–Keith Richard’s face.

Gravedigger–Local cemetery.

Any intern position–TransWorld SNOWboarding.