As we all know, the first of January is approaching fairly quickly, which means once again making resolutions that we’ll never dream of following through with. Are you going to lose five pounds? Learn switch backside cork 1080s? Dump that girl who won’t stop reading your e-mails and deleting everyone in your phone book? Well, we’ll make an easy one-we resolve to continue printing every bit of random gossip we can get our hands on in Tiny Type, because no matter how little the words are, we know that you read every one. And we love you for it. We really do.
Ambiguous Snow is making power moves all over the place by picking up both Tim Eddy and Shane Flood. Zac Marben now rides for Option Snowboards. Seth Huot has jumped into the Celsius family. Scotty Lago rides for Saucony, which is something that has been going on for a while, but we’re pretty sure that nobody knows about it yet-or at least we didn’t. Brett Butcher is now riding for Northwave and Drake, and Louie Vito is on O-Matic. Matt Peterson just moved to Southern California and is now working full time as both Academy Snowboards team manager and professional snowboarder-apparently the guy’s got multitasking on lockdown. Speaking of team managers, Zach Dalton-formerly of Burton-is DC’s newest glorified babysitter a.k.a. team manager.
It seems like these days you can’t really be a professional snowboarder without having an agent, which is why everyone’s favorite whip-disser Ali Goulet is becoming one-an agent, that is. Justin Hebbel is Ali’s first athlete, and I’m sure that Mr. Goulet would love more on his roster, so give him a call, because now it’s his job to make your dreams come true. Speaking of pro-snowboarders turned entrepreneurs, Peter Line now has a driving service in Seattle. The service features tatted-out drivers at the helm of Lincoln Town Cars, so if you want to travel like a rock star, go to Seattle. Speaking of rock stars, Corey Smith has a band and Travis Robison got a new grill for his bottom teeth complete with diamonds and ice-yeah son, uhhhh.
Louie Vito just bought a new house in SLC. Apparently, professional snowboarders migrate in flocks, as both Josh Mills and Bryan Fox have also permanently relocated to the salty city for the winter, and Jacqui Berg has moved there to share a house with Amber Stackhouse. Kyle Clancy is not moving to Utah, but he is building a house in either June Mountain or Jackson Hole … he was undecided as of press time. Nima Jalali is renting a room in Big Bear for the winter. Nima also reportedly quit smoking for three hours, then smoked five cigs in a row to make up for his lost time. He also recently hosted a pizza party for all his friends at his dad’s pizza parlor in Los Angeles. Photographer Cole Barash has also moved to Southern California, most likely in hopes of attending Nima’s next pizza soiree. In other relocation news, Preston Strout has moved out of Bend and into a house on the edge of the National Forest by Sisters, Oregon. He spends most of his time splitting wood, scaring up game, and collecting nuts and berries. He also claims to have taken down a ten-point buck with a spear that he fashioned from a hemlock branch.
In completely unrelated news to anything else in this column, Tim Zimmerman loves pie, but is on a diet. He also heard that Penthouse put an offer in to buy TransWorld. We have no idea if this information is even close to the truth, but another unidentified source claims to have heard that ESPN might also be in the running for future owner. Speaking of future owners (this transition is a little far-fetched, so work with us) AMK and husband Bryan Knox are the future owners of their very own baby. Apparently, tiny wrinkly humans are the new craze or something, because Frank Wells and Jeff Potto are also new fathers. Congratulations to everyone.
TPS Report 3 is out, annd Grenade filmer Silent Greg is currently working on number four. Also of Grenade nature, Danny Kass does not eat Wheaties. He eats at the new Mexican place across the street from The Office in June. The place is called Salsitas, it’s wicked cheap, and if you eat there, maybe Danny will be kind enough to sign your burrito wrapper. Oh yeah, The Dingo is in Australia filming some TV show, and word on the street is that he’s single and ready to mate. Also coming up on everyone’s favorite little moving-picture box is a show about The Block. In case you’ve been living under a rock for the past few years, The Block is the hotel that MFM co-owns and is the location of manifold debaucheries of Big Bear area snowboard patrons and visitors. The show is supposedly airing on the cable channel G4, so check the TV Guide for listings.
TWS’ newest employee Joe Carlino recently bought a Toyota Tundra and moved to Carlsbad, California. Fellow SoCal resident and MDPeople Producer/filmer Justin Eeles just bought a new 2007 Ski Doo Summit 800 sled outfitted with dual Cheetah factory racks. If you feel like following in Mr. Eeles’ snow-vehicle-purchasing footsteps, Lukas Huffman is selling his semi-functional sled for “really cheap.” Josh Sherman sold his motorcycle that he bought over the summer for 800 dollars to a kid in Wisconsin. Unfortunately for both parties, the motorcycle exploded the following day, but being the nice guy that he is, Josh gave the guy his money back. Josh Sherman also purchased an ’06 Chevy Silverado 1500 with his bonus from the TWS Buyer’s Guide cover. Alex Sherman is not related to Josh Sherman, but he did lose something recently. We’ll give you three guesses at what that something is.
Rossignol Team Manager Alex Pashley reportedly turned the tables on freelance filmer Java Fernandez at a recent premiere by putting all his drinks on Java’s tab. In retaliation, Java ripped Pashley’s underwear off at the bar and threw drinks in his crotch. Lesson learned? Don’t piss off Java. In more delayed premiere-season news: Drew Fuller and MDPeople filmer Gabe L’Heureux’s brother were stumbling back from the TWS Riders’ Poll awards when Drew decided to climb up into a fountain and splash around for a little bit. Afterward, Drew was spotted stumbling down the street drunk and sopping wet by a San Diego cop and taken to the drunk tank, only to sneak out when the guards weren’t looking. Priceless.