Five CDs I Wish I Reviewed This Year
By Chris Coyle
Every year at this time I look to the stack of CDs on my desk and get pissed that I didn’t hip you kids out there to half of ‘em. Sure, I could have mixed them in throughout the year, a couple here and a couple there, but that would mean I’d be doing more than the bare-bones minimum-and I can’t have that. So in my never-ending quest to put out the most while doing the least, I grabbed the five you shouldn’t live without and put them right here in one page, enjoy.
Teenage Rampage Records
All you need to know is S.T.R.E.E.T.S. stands for Skateboarding Totally Rules Everything Else Totally Sucks. That should make you buy this CD without any further questions, but just in case you have doubts, think Suicidal Tendencies and Iron Maiden’s bastard children. Teenagerampagerecords.com
The Ramones meet Devo. Probably one of the best things to happen to rock and roll since dollar beers-I’ve yet to meet anyone who didn’t fall in love with this record. Slovenly.com
Direct Hit Records
A four-piece band with more hair than Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem, RPG will turn your speakers inside out with good old-fashioned Virginia rock. If “Stand Still Blues” don’t get your fist pumping, you should check for a pulse. rpgva.com
The Pork Torta
You know at the end of Fast Times At Ridgemont High when Spicoli gets all that money for saving Brooke Shields from drowning and spends it on having Van Halen play his birthday party? He blew it-he should’ve gotten The Pork Torta. It’s the best party band in the world. porktorta.com
Head For The Shallow
Hydra Head Industries
Featuring Jared Warren of Karp and Tight Bros. fame and Coady Willis from the Murder City Devils, Big Business is a force to be reckoned with. Comparisons to the Melvins could be made, but only in shear volume and low-end carnage. F-k it, I can’t do this CD justice in words. The only thing I can suggest is taking this thing out of its case with one of them Ove Gloves-’cause this shit’s hot.