The Age of Aquarius by definition is an astrological era held to have brought to the world increased spirituality and harmony among people. On 4:20:2005 Grenade realized the need for this and spawned the first ever Grenade Games at June Mountain, California. Jumping a year into the present the Grenade Games returned to in birthplace for an Aquarian Squeebathon of mass proportions. One so massive that even the June Lake Police could smell the sweet pungent aroma of freedom and set up a search points coming into the parking lot. The joke of the day was telling your friends how much of the sticky icky icky ooohhweee you had to stuff in your butt to get it on the hill. Only three people that we know of were issued citations for the possession of a flower, but the cops weren’t allowed near the hill so the inaugural doobie torch was lit and the Games began.
The scene on the hill was insane—features included a full park designed by Danny Kass, which mirrored the gap jumps of the Vernon Valley daze in the mid 90′s. To the right of a freshly cut dude tube was a 100-meter mogul field titled “The Bull Ride. Any sucker who thought they could make it down on a makeshift snurfer was riddled with snowballs and ridiculed by the crowd in a gauntlet almost as brutal of those at the World Quarters. Below this was a “Baked Slalom course with huge berms, rollers, doubles and such—this doubled as the second leg for the “Chinese Eyed Downhill linked with the Bull Ride above. The rest would be a dash anyway down to the base where you had to touch the horns on the front of the Grenade RV.
Now all of these radically burlacious amenities were set to the atmosphere of a gigantic barbecue at the bottom of the pipe. Live bands serenaded the crowds on a stage surrounded by a snow amphitheater. The line up included Valdur, Retard Riot, Deathpact from VT and finally Kill Cheerleader who came all the way from Toronto to rock our asses off. With all this dome melting and thrashing, people who got the (here comes some cliché jargon) “munchies were in luck because Corey Grove from Cobra Dogs was on site with a cobra cart and was gladly putting his special sauce on any dudes wiener who asked for it. Beer supplied by Heineken was the choice beverage to wash down the dogs and also provided a good buzz too. The buzz was so good that even U-God and the GZA from the Wu-Tang Clan decided to come up and check out the mayhem. Later that night they would be performing at the Boost Mobile Grenade Games “Dusted After party. So now that this epic picture is painted in your brain piece let’s talk about the who’s who and who was ripping.
In the pipe Giacamo Kratter would earn himself the title of Highest Air, doing it shirtless and with his hair blowing in the wind. Matt Kass came out of retirement and was getting a smooth line of Kassarolls to BS Sevens. Mason Aguirre was killing it, Sketchy-D was killing it, Heikki Sorsa and Eero Ettala were getting international, but pulling down the “Dankest Trick would be Cody Rosenthal with a huge alley-oop BS Rodeo seven. Since no one could make it down the Bull Ride the prize was awarded to the one person who got the worst face shot with a snowball. That man was Christiano DiPasquale AKA Binkey who took more balls to the face than a Debbie Does Dallas movie, congrats on that son! As the sun was setting the Chinese Eyed Downhill began. 100 people entered but only one man was brave enough to straight line the face of June. Thor Ryen lead singer of Valdur made the Viking Esq. voyage and took the prize.
With all the hippies off the hill it was on to the after party, I wish I could tell you about it but I don’t even remember waking up in the morning. Grenade Games are the best thing to happen to snowboarding since forward lean. Everything turned out great thanks to everyone for coming out and making something new better. Big thanks to Monster Energy, Boost Mobile, Vestal, Vans, Cobra Dogs, Gnu Snowboards, Jeremy Cooper, Carrl and everyone at June Mountain, Oren Tanzer, Valdur, Retard Riot, The Wu Tang Clan Deathpact and Kill Cheerleader. For everyone who wasn’t there come next 4:20 and get a new perspective on what snowboarding is really about—getting stoned and partying all night long … later!
