Tiny Type

December’s almost here. You’re probably sublimating the horror of long hours at school with the joys of consumerism and dreams of winter break–when you can finally get rid of that finger callous from writing too much and maybe even get a new one on one of your toes from breaking in a fresh pair of boots. Ah, the joys of snowboarding are within reach! Just read some Tiny Type–and remember to breathe. You’ll be there soon enough.

You knew that Gretchen Bleiler was hot, but did you know she was this hot? The female halfpipe annihilator is slated to be one of the hot girls profiled in FHM, detailing the “sexier side of Gretchen.” She had about three weeks to get her body in shape for the shoot–which was no big thang since she’s ripped already. All it took was a session at Mystic Tan and a quick manicure/pedicure before flying to NYC for the photo session. Oakley reportedly designed custom suits for the shoot.

Speaking of revealing outfits, Bobby Meeks was spotted recently rocking a Speedo at the Oregon State Fair in Salem. The skimpy suit was in addition to a pirate costume–all worn as part of a wicked high-dive show involving, among other things, Meeks doing double back flips off an 80-foot tower into 9.5 feet of water. Sounds sketchy–even without the sidepipe.

In other news, the infamous unicorn-horn decorating the High Cascade Snowboard Camp bus driven by coach Preston Strout was stolen before the camps wound down this fall. What kind of sick bastard steals a gigantic fake unicorn horn? On second thought, we don’t want to know. But while we’re talking about robbery, we may as well mention that the hotel room of TWS Senior Editor Jennifer Sherowski was broken into while she was in Wanaka, New Zealand on a shred mission with Scott Serfas and several pro snow sliders. All we can say is you’d better steer clear of the thieving Kiwi who tries to rock a stolen avalanche transceiver in the backcountry–bad karma.

Bluebird Wax has just added Marc Frank Montoya to its list of heavy hitters. He joins his friends Kurt Wastell, Bryan Iguchi, and a list of other big-time stunt monkeys. Also, we’ve heard rumors around here that Montoya and JP Walker have signed with Zoo York street clothing–we’ll see how that one pans out.

The Video Gangs premiere in Laguna Beach, California kicked off with a huge fight (apparently some Orange County thugs thought it was real gangs, not Video Gangs) and ended with a crew of kids harassing JP Walker: “Yo JP, where was your part?” Walker reportedly said something to the effect of, “I saved my shit for the real video, man.”

Grenade entrepreneur Matt Kass recently relocated part of the glove company’s world headquarters from the Propaganda Skate Shop in June Lakes to the town of Mammoth, California. Turns out the old place wasn’t quite big enough. Kass also wanted to lay to rest any rumors about the Grenerds running over old ladies with their snowmobiles in June last winter.

The down-ason turned into a pressure cooker for many young shredders. For example, this year’s Burton team trip to New Zealand in the early fall saw Romain De Marchi and Gigi Rüf arrested (yup, that’s twice in one year for Romain) and charged with assault after a scuffle with a bouncer at a bar in Wanaka. The two were initially required to stay in New Zealand until their court date the following month, but some smooth work by Team Manager Rene Hansen and a formal apology by the boys earned them the right to leave just a few days before the ASR trade show in San Diego.

Speaking of ASR, we’re not giving away any specifics, but let’s just say that this trade show is now rivaling the one in Las Vegas for the amount of partying and sinful endeavors undertaken–don’t forget, Tijuana is just a few short miles away. Everyone is mostly in town to catch premieres of the season’s latest snowboard movies, so all they have to do during the day is pretend they know how to surf, and oh yeah, chill on the beach. And if there’s one thing pro snowboarders are good at, it’s chillin’.

Which brings us to our next subject–sharks. Whatever carnage didn’t happen at the festivities could’ve easily happened in the water–several great whites (one of them seventeen feet long!) were spotted hanging around San Onofre State Beach just north of Oceanside (the home of TransWorld SNOWboarding) a few days before all the industry heads got into town for ASR. Just think, lean athletic meat marinated in the finest spirits–it’s the ultimate shark bait.

Speaking of celebrations, congratulations to K2 Team Manager Kevin English and pro rider Kim Bohnsack–the longtime couple got engaged this fall in Europe. Also, K2 teamrider and certified photo nerd Wille Yli-Luoma acted as wedding photographer for Elite Interactive’s Neil Goss and his girlfriend Joanna Laajisto at a celebration held in Helsinki, Finland–no word yet on whether Wille will use wedding photography as a full-time moonlighting gig or not.