Intern Eye For The Shred Guy
Keeping up with the current trends in snowboarding is no easy task. What’s hot changes quicker than Oprah’s waistline. Luckily, we interns are “in the now,” so to speak. The hall in front of our hole might as well be the runways of Milan. Every day, the who’s who of snowboarding walk by on their way to kiss some serious ass.
It would seem, lately, that rock ’n’ roll is the new look. Seeing as we care so much about your well-being, we decided to give you some tips on making the rock conversion. So toss out them visor beanies and raise up your lighter–it’s time to rock.
When you rock ’n’ roll all night and party every day, your pad’s gotta show it. All snowboard posters should be replaced with images of Iggy & The Stooges and The New York Dolls. So what if you don’t own one of their records. That’s just a technicality. Just burn most of your uncle’s CD collection.
No self-respecting rocker would be caught dead in a four-wheel-drive European sports car–American muscle all the way. Early 70s Novas or delivery vans are the easiest to come by. Throw a couple six-by-nine speakers in the back, crank up the T. Rex, and just ride. It might be a little tough to drive in a foot of new snow, so throw some studded snow tires on the rear. Besides, studs make cool sparks when you’re layin’ rubber.
Get all snow clothes to the nearest seamstress–tight is in. Keith Richards ain’t wearing no JNCO jeans–he’s got them babies painted on, and by the looks of ’em, they’d stand up with or without him. But approach with caution, tightness is an indicator of musical taste within. Snug enough to rock a mean side pipe says, “I dig some Zep.” But if folks in the liftline can get an accurate sperm count–you better be able to recite some Ramones lyrics on request.
The Strokes look went out with–well, The Strokes. Johnny Thunders is where it’s at. Off-hill–tease that shit ’til it almost cries. When you’re on-hill, it’s a whole different situation. There’re hats and warmth to consider, but you have one gigantic thing going for ya–hat head. A few hours under a good lid is going to turn anyone from pow slasher into Slash. Don’t forget that top hat!